Mildly Triggering (ED) - Scarded ='(

[*candyfloss*]

Hiya guys... long time no write. I feel so bleugh I am losing weight and quickly too. Not through purging anymore but by starving myself. Everyone says how skinny I am. I really don't see it, all I see is ugly, fat, disgusting.

My CMHT team have decided to refer me to the ED team, I really dont know what to expect to be honest! That's where you guys come in. What are they like, are they nice? Will I be expected to put on weight? I'm worried!

Anyway that's all for now, if you want my number to text me then just feel free to PM me Thanks!

Leigh xx

[HopeRises]

Random you have the same name as me.

I don't know about the ED team but, I don't expect they will expect you to put on weight straight away, maybe after awhile but hopefully they'll deal with the feelings behind your ED and also, maybe refer you to a dietician. Sorry I'm not much help.

I hope you get the answers your looking for soon.

Love Leighxxx

[Droplet]

Hi Leigh. :)

Welcome back.

I am still with child and adolescent services so I can't write from personal experience. I did see a doctor from adult services and she was really nice and very gentle with me. I bet it's a bit pot luck really. I hope you get someone nice.

I think they are likely to weigh you and work out your BMI. If you need to gain weight medically they may try that straight away (if you are in a dangerous position) or gradually but they should offer you emotional support as well. I have had people come out and eat my meals with me. They will not give you big amounts of food just yet because of a thing called 'refeeding syndrome' which can be dangerous. They should keep an eye on you for that.

They might refer you to a dietician or give you a meal plan themselves. If you are quite unwell they probably will not give you any type of therapy because your brain needs a good amount of nutrition to cope with that. You may be getting therapy already though, I don't know.

Remember you can always ask them any questions about your care and they will expect you to be anxious and worried and nervous, I'm sure.

I think you should trust the people around you. An ED really does cloud your judgement. That's what I hate about so much them. I see good friends get dragged under and start to hate themselves with a passion. From personal experience, the more I lost weight the fatter I (thought) I got.

I'm sorry that you struggling but I really hope they will help you, Leigh.

Lots of love to you. Miranda. x

[*candyfloss*]

Hi Leigh and Miranda, thank you so much for your supportive words *hugs for both of you*.
I'm really dreadding tonight as I have to go out with my sister to a Christmas party and have a 3 course meal. I physically can NOT eat even a small starter let alone a main meal. That's just how out of control this has gotten. I just don't feel hungry anymore. My BMI isn't that low (it is underweight) but the problem is that it's getting lower quickly.

In a way I want help, but the most part of me just wants to be skinnier.

Thanks again, love

Leigh xx