I finally shared my past with a friend, first time i told someone bout it. He said something that got me thinking and which I am trying to incorporate in my life.
Thought I should share it with all and see what you feel bout it.
He said "Stop being the victim" (this was a qoute from angelina jolie's interview), not in the sense that I am not entitled to feel what I was but that you do need to make peace with yourself and let go of the past to be happy. After that conversation I started thinking yes I was a victim at some point in life at some point in my life things did happen that should not have and probably still are happening but no good will come from feeling sorry for myself all the time and feeling more hurt instead of doing something bout it. Whatever comfert you need is all in you i.e. to say no one can make you happy or help you in life until and unless you make peace with yourself. In life all you need is You!!!
Well my basic point is instead of feeling sorry for yourself act! If someone has done you wrong then you make it right not because you owe it to anyone but because you owe it to yourself, If you made any mistakes in the past own up to them and stop making excuses. Regardless of whatever happened at the end of the day it is your life and it is in your hands how to live it.
I know it is very easy to preach and very difficult to follow but trust me on this having gone through some **** in life I know you can do whatever you want if you wish to.
Personally I had lost control of my life and was not living for myself anymore and it did show in my anger in my sorrow in the sleepless nights I used to spend crying and also on my health well now I have made some changes in my life. I accept that things happened in life but thats just it they are just a part of my life they are not my whole life...I am thankful for it though for giving me maturity, understanding and in making me realise importance of life and that is what I wish to take forward with me and not the hurt the pain and the sorrow. I have also realised that nothing is impossible for me...the moment I start to find justifications for things I am just trying to find excuses there is always something more I can do and no matter what the situation be there is something that is still in my control. My goal is to try as hard as possible to acheive what I want in life ... wether I get it or not is immaterial cause that is not in my hands the effort is. The other thing that I have now done is to accept things..If i have problems then I accept them as part of life accept them and move on if new problems arise thats fine too now that is the present situation it is easier to accept it and deal with it rather than asking why me, what if this wouln't have happened or whos fault it is. Finally I am also very aware and accepting of my responsibilities there are things that I need to do and I will do no matter what happens nothing will come from getting angry or blaming others cause that will not help you attain peace from yourself.
I guess all I am trying to say and bore you in the process is the main aim is to be at peace with yourself and know the importance and value of your life. Take control of it it is upto you to decide what to do. You are not the victim!!!!
Life is short .... Why waste it feeling like ****
Please do let me know what you feel and also if anyone wants to share anything that they think I would be able to help them with or just want someone to talk to do send me a message I promise I will try to log in as much as possible or just send me an email.
Candy Tetris
Mahjong
Othello
Mumu