the only guy i ever i've ever been with since i started to si decided that 'he couldn't do this' once he'd seen what i looked like naked (at the time there were no cuts, just red scars).
and as if that wasn't enough, it was whilst we were having sex (for the first and only time) that he announced this.....
i had told him beforehand, and he said he was ok with it (allegedly).
never in my life have i felt more repulsive or ashamed about what i've done to myself. and needless to say, in the 4+ years since it happened i haven't been in any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise.
.......sorry for the hijack......but it still makes me upset...!
When me and my boyfriend got together - we'd been best friends for over a year. So he knew all about my er, troubles *sigh*. So he wasn't all that shocked, just sometimes if he's tickeling my arms I shudder cause it's uncomfortable having him run his fingers over scars. Otherwise it doesn't really effect me. It's my problem, not theirs. If they can't deal with my scars, then I can't deal with them. :) It's a part of me, part of the package etc. :)
I said other, because I'm in a relationship, and my boy has problems with my SI, not my scars.
I'm in exactly the same position. But I mean, when we first got together 4 years ago, I avoided sexual contact because I hate the scars on my legs, but when it came to it, he didn't make a comment, even though he knew that was one of the reasons I was scared. And I was so happy about that.
As a general rule I don't care about them. If people are going to have a problem with me because of them, chances are I don't want them in my life anyway. It's less that I'm confident or anything, than that I'm kind of past the point of caring. I'm insecure yes, but I don't want it to effect my entire life, and I find making it less of a big deal helps.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
I voted other...my scars are all under my clothes and i don't plan to be sexually active in a relationship for a long long time, so having my scars seen doesn't worry me as much as the thought of having to tell my prospective boyfriend about my depression and SI and whether it'd scare him away.
I'm in a realtionship with a guy and he doesn't like my scars, not because of what they look like but because of how I got him. But he also understands as he used to SH as well, my scars are just more visibly and more of them than him.
I was really nervous when I knew he would have to find out, but he took it really well. I think it depends on the person alot.
I don't really care what people think of my scars anymore. I used to worry about what people thought, but I kind of realised that if people think it is a problem, then they're not really worth it. Scars are just superficial. When I look at my own arms, I don't see the scars, I just see my arms. That's how anybody else should see them too, as far as I am concerned, and if they do see them and do think it is enough of a problem for them not to want to see you, then they clearly didn;t care that much in the first place
the first time my partner saw my scars i lied about them. stupid idea because they were blatently self harm. he didnt question it again though until i told him everything. we've now been married for over a year now so he's definitely ok with them! in fact he is bloody amazing!
i told my boyfriend bout my self harm the day we got together, he don't like the fact i do it. my friends knew bout it before i told them and they are great huggy is the best friend ever he helped me out when i needed help wit booze and not eating and the self harm but anyways when it come to my family i kept it from them for bout 16yr's they know now but act like i never told them
So how can you tell me you're lonely,
And say for you that the sun don't shine?
Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London
I'll show you something to make you change your mind
My (kind of) boyfriend has known me since I was about 13, so he's had 6years of the whole SI thing, and I think that if it bothered him, then he wouldn't have got into a relationship with me. I mean, I don't think it's his favourite thing, and he really doesn't like it if I have new cuts, but he's so good about it all. I think the thing is, having known me for so long, he's seen it at its worst, he's dealt with kind of the whole fallout from SI and so scars are a really minor consideration.
I think, with other people though, I would be really worried, although, generally I think I'd probably be quite drunk, but fortunately I don't have to worry about that at the mo.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
When i met my other half I knew he was special, so I decided to be totally honest. I told him pretty much on our second date, weh had a big talk and I explained about all my problems with si, my depression and anxiety issues. I also said I'd understand 100% if he wanted to end it. We've happily been together ever since, and have lived together for two years.
When he first saw my scars he told me not to be afraid, because he thought I was beautiful and that they were part of me, and my life, so they made no difference about the way he felt about me.
Play the game out
Amor Vincit Omnia
Dad 10/11/2008 Always our sunshine, I'm still playing for the town hall clock
I said that it depends on the person. If it's someone i've known already then they will probably have already seen my scars as i don't really bother covering them up. I have had long periods SH free (2 separate years) and at those times i feel quite proud of my scars and am quite open about my past. And i feel that anyone i meet that has a problem with that is not worth being with anyway as i'll always have scars and if they can't get over it then there's no future.
I do, however, have a problem with cuts that haven't healed and scars that are still quite red. Which is a problem atm as i have recently had a blip. I don't like ANYONE seeing fresh cuts, i even hate showing them to a nurse if they need fixing up. I feel very vulnerable and almost naked if someone sees my cuts.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
Strangely enough i seem to attract guys/girls who self-harm anyway so it's usually not an issue. Or maybe i just go out with them because simply they have mh problem and it's easier.
do what everyone else does, use ryl as a dating agency. :)
Male, 22, GSOH and great hair WLTM a female 18-24 for friendship and maybe more!
My girlfriend told me about her SI before we'd even started seeing each other really, which made me come out and confess everything about my issues as well. So we both knew long before we got together. Neither of us has a problem with scars, we have both seen each other with pretty fresh cuts.
It does hurt us both knowing that the other is feeling that bad that they need to cut, but we are both really supportive of each other.
I'm not sure how things would be if I was with someone who didn't / had never SI'ed before - I would definitely not be as comfortable with everything. I guess it would depend on the person really. I voted for don't care though, because I guess if someone couldn't accept my scars, then they aren't worth being with.
I've never been worried about it affecting a serious relationship, because in that situation, generally people aren't shallow enough to react toooo badly. However, outside of relationship kinda stuff... it'd worry me a bit =\
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! -- Not a vegetarian
I think my scars will affect my relationships a lot as i find i can't get close to anyone out of fear of rejection because so many of my friends just ditched me when they found out i SId.
x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Hehe
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WLTM a female 18-24 for friendship and maybe more! 
