tlaking about it

[crazy/beautiful]

Hey everyone i hope you are all ok. Just wanted your opinions on something if thats ok.

Over the past week its become clear to me that when it comes to abuse, mainly of the sexual side, its kind of not really allowed to be talked about. Like people expect you to go and talk to a professional about it but your close friends and family refuse to talk about it, they ignore it and ignore you when you try and talk about it, even if its not in detail, just in genral, they seem to avoid it like its infectious. Ive tried to talk to my very close friend about what happened this week, i wouldnt normally but its the "anniversary" (hate that word) of what happened and i just needed some reassurance etc, i didnt want to talk to her in detail or anyhting and i did not want her to sove the problem because it cant be fixed, but she ignored me if i tried to talk to her and she hasnt even asked if im ok, nothing, she knows how difficult this time of year is and shes avoiding the whole thing. Its really upsetting because it makes me feel like i deserved it and its dirty and wrong and shes telling me im "bad" in a way. I got annoyed because of this and asked it she thought i was disgusting and thats why she ignored it, and she didnt reply to me or anything. Shes made me feel worse about something that i didnt think i could possibly feel worse about.

Anyway sorry for rambling, just wanted to know what other peoples experiences of this are etc. Hope i made sense xxxx

[green.eyes]

i take it you talked to her either by txt or via the internet from the way you phrased this? maybe talk to her in person if this is possible and just tell her what you've said here, that you dont expect answers just reassurance and to know someone cares.
i'm sorry this time of year is difficult for you bbut i certainly think talking about your feelings is a good idea and better than bottling the up.
take care
*hugs*

[ghosts in the machine]

In a way I've been lucky in that respect; with no one else knowing, I've had two real life friends who listened when I wanted to talk about what happened. One of them also had been abused, so we tended to talk a lot about our experiences when we were alone. Could you maybe ask her outright if she would mind if you talked about it to her - and get a straight answer out of her?

But I can see how it must be really annoying when people skirt around the issue with you, as though if they don't hear about it, it didn't happen. Either way you're not disgusting and you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry it's being such a hard time for you right now, but you will get through this sweetie. Keep hanging on xx

[Amaryllis]

Oh dear, I have this problem sometimes. Sometimes I need to talk to my friends about what happened, but they don't want to hear about it or something along those lines.

Anyway, you should probably ask your friend why she doesn't want to hear about it and tell her that you need to talk about it to a friend. But, not everyone is going to be a-okay with hearing about this out of the blue, and sometimes not even after you tell them why it's important to you.

Anyway, my end suggestion is to talk to her. Ask about her feelings. Tell her why it's important. Sometimes people can be told things and then not connect the dots. It's all right - I do it sometimes.