I'm so glad that im not the only Christian SI'er out there. It's a good feeling. I dont know any other Christian person with "problems".
Yah for the Christians!
Lol Vicky I thought the same thing when I found this thread. although I strongly suspect that they're not as perfect as they like to appear ... I'm willing to bet there's a whole lot of "Stained Glass Masquerade" ing , as Casting Crowns so aptly wrote, going on .... but it is nice to actually be able to physically see that you're not alone...btw, welcome to the christian SIer's thread :) ~Jewel
I try to love the sinner but it's more than the sin will allow. I've looked a long time into the dark,
hoping the truth would show me how
~Bad Cliché
Guys I need some prayer... my brother was my abuser for 5years and he now no longer lives with us but he is coming for Christmas... I'm scared about what will happen but also recently I've been feeling like I need to call him up and tell him that I forgive him. He's not a Christian and I know that I need to set things right between us but I don't know how to go about it, I don't even know what to say or how to say it. I love my brother but I've never liked him because of what he did to me... I'm just kind of stuck right now and I really don't know what to do.... I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense right now...
Jess
~Here I am at your feet in my brokenness complete~
wow jess, its really good that you've forgiven him! thats amazing..
Vicky...i bet you actuallly know a lot of christians with problems...but they're probably too afraid to admit it unfortunately
i think people in churches need to start getting a lot more honest with everybody...because NOBODY has it together lol
^Agreed. I think we also need to realise that Christians are humans too and therefore all the people in our churches have problems. Took me a long time to work that one out.
So, in other miraculous news, I should have died last night. Of carbon monoxide poisoning. My entire family would have just never woken up. Or failing that my house should have burned down. But there was a freak incident where the fire from our heater jumped out and melted 3 wires (and only got the wires). The heater guy came out today and made this face: 0_______0 Why aren't you guys dead?. :) Cause the breaker didn't trip or anything...so it's a miracle we're still alive. Especially with the carbon monoxide--apparently all that saved us was that our house is earlier, and therefore drafty---usually not a good thing, but...lol. God was watching out for us. So, we're cold, and shaken up, but otherwise...making "wow" faces.
hey everyone. ive been away fro quite some time, and now im back. things have gotten unbearable at home and i just want them to get better. I've been praying like mad but things arent really improving.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
&& God promised to never leave us or forsake us! He is faithful, it would be completely contrary to His character to break a promise.
When we feel far from God, it's a problem on our part, not His.
&& God promised to never leave us or forsake us! He is faithful, it would be completely contrary to His character to break a promise.
When we feel far from God, it's a problem on our part, not His.
I don't mean to be rude but you are completely wrong. My fault I have depression then is it, huh? And sometimes God chooses to hold back for whatever reason, and it is of no fault of our own. Any Christian would tell you that.
I don't mean to be rude but you are completely wrong. My fault I have depression then is it, huh? And sometimes God chooses to hold back for whatever reason, and it is of no fault of our own. Any Christian would tell you that.
NO there is a war going on between the devil and god. your depression is a sign of this war. The point of this war is over the human heart. god wants to love you and be with you for eternity and you just need to believe. the probem is the devil atacks humanity trying to drive us away from him. its not your faut its the devil's fault
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I'll agree with you on that last part, Katie--it's the entire premise of St John of the Cross' dark night of the soul, which you can find online.
That being said, it isn't the usual cause of feeling seperated from God. Now, I don't know, maybe you're a better Christian than me or something, but in my case, it's almost always that I don't want to hear what God is saying. I try to fit him into a neat little box, and when he doesn't fit into that box, i unconsciously ignore him. It's entirely possible that God is being silent in order to teach you about faith, but it's equally possible that it's something in your heart keeping you from hearing God. We're not judging you--it happens to all of us.
If you're feeling abandoned by God and you don't mind some reading, try Hosea or Malachi. They're both pretty short and in the old testament. Hosea is the story of a man God asked to marry a prostitute, to demonstrate God's unconditional love for his people. Malachi is written to a nation questioning God's love for them and his justice, believing they have done nothing wrong. It's a personal favorite of mine, because it always helps me see my life from God's perspective again.
I've kind of been feeling the same way. I've been fighting this relapse (yes, I'm still in it D:) and yesterday I felt so desperate, I was in my shower and without even thinking I felt alone and hurt and cut, again. So I ended up falling to my knees, praying to God to please, show me that he was there. But I didn't hear him, and though I know in my mind that he's there, it's so hard.
Though your sins are as red as blood, they will be whiter than snow or wool --Isaiah 1:18
Sorrow may last through the night, but joy will come in the morning --Psalm 30:5
To put a slightly positive note to this thread (hugs and prayers for everyone who needs them)...
Tuesday was one of the worst nights I've had in the longest time. Very triggered, very flashback-y, and contemplating a decision that I could never reverse. But, just when I was beginning to plan everything out, something stopped me and made me think it through - was this really what I wanted, did I truly have no reason to keep fighting? Pretty soon the only thing I could think about was how it would affect my best friend. How would I look him in the eye and tell him that I relapsed without feeling terrible, would I really want someone to have to let him know that I was in the hospital due to it all...or worse? I sat there staring blankly at my laptop, unconsiously venting all this on R&V, crying on the inside because of all the hurt and pain and frustration and anger and the fact that I have a very hard time actually crying.
It wasn't until I opened up about all this to my best friend, the very same one who is trying to relight my candle for God, that I realized that it was God who saved me that night. Dan didn't know I was sturggling till well after the fact. God was the one who made me think of the one person who means the most to me that night. God saved me and showed me that He wouldn't give up on me, even though I gave up on Him.
I feel like a runaway who wants to go home but isn't sure how to go about it. In a sense I am, I guess. When you feel this lost, there's only one handbook to turn to. So I bought a Bible I'll be comfortable with and I'm reading it with an open heart. It felt like that phone call runaways give when they've made up their mind. My way of letting God know I'm coming Home.
one of my teachers was talking about how his daughter has struggled with depression on and off for years...and they've talked about it a lot and why god allows it...and he says that basically he thinks that sometimes, in order for God to make room for himself, he has to create a hole in our hearts. When he does this, we should seek to fill it up with him...
just a thought....
and Felicia...thats AWESOME :)
i'm soo happy for you =D
