I'm sorry if this isn't in the right place.. but I'm kinda new...
I don't know what to do. My friend found out I was cutting at the beginning of the year, and she was really supportive and understanding and everything. But now she's started also, because she said it works for me... and now her mum's found out, and I feel like it's all my fault and I don't even know how I feel about it. I wish she'd never found out and never started. I always seem to hurt the people I'm closest to and I don't know what to do now. :/
It is not your fault, don't blame yourself. Whatever caused her to start cutting herself wasn't because you did it. I had a friend who asked what my scars were from and I told her and she said she wanted to try it and went in the bathroom and did it. She never did it again so I am not sure what that was all about but I wasn't going to blame myself for that. You did not tell your friend to harm herself, she did that on her own. All you can do is try to support her and maybe find out why she started? Maybe if you let her know you feel like it is your fault she can let you know its not. I am not the best person at giving advice so I am sorry if none of this is helpful. Just remember its not your fault.
If she started it's not your fault. You didn't ask her to do it, you didn't tell her that it would help her at all, you were only seeking help. She chose this, and the fact that she did means tht she's struggling herself. As twisted as this is going to sound, maybe because of this situation she'll get whatever help she needed through her mum having her see a doctor. Sometimes SI is just that - a cry for help.
I know... she hints at it often, it's weird. I don't like talking about it with people I'm close with, I can't imagine showing other people.. It doesn't seem right... But I guess everyone's different...
The same thing happened with a friend of mine. It really put a strain on our relationship... I admitted my own struggle to her because I needed someone to talk to and I felt like, once she started, she really stopped respecting me and she was joking about SI. But it's not your fault that she started. If she starts blaming you for what's going on, tell her that's not okay. I mean, even telling you that she started because she thought it helped you was kind of out of line.
I found myself in a similar situation with a friend last week. He's not exactly stable most of the time, and he saw a couple of cuts and freaked out. I spoke to him on MSN that night to try to explain, and he wasn't even capable of coherency. He kept saying something about being scared he copied me. The next day, what do you know it, he had, and now he's trying to copy my method of covering it up too (I've worn a bandana on my left arm for about 4 years now, just to cover up scars, under the pretence of some kind of fashion statement ). But I never told him to do it. It's not my fault.
And it's not your fault that your friend started, either. Try to be supportive of her - you can empathise with her. You can try to help each other through.
Eek :/ I wish SI wasn't such a taboo subject... I don't understand why people freak out about the idea so much...
I'm being as supportive as I can, but I don't find it as easy to talk about my feelings and stuff... (we used to be pretty close when it came to that sort of stuff) because I don't want to make her feel worse? *shrug* it's kinda dumb really!
the last 6 months my best friend has known about my si shes been rellly supportive. but in the last week she said i was 'getting her down too much' and she didnt want to know me while i was 'like this'. i feel lost without her, we used to do everything together and now i force myself to walk past her like i dont know her. her boyfriend said to me 'im getting u help one last time, take it, try, and get your best mate back, otherwise stop making her life **** yea. tbh i think ur clever enuf to take the first option and that you care about people more than you seem to so fingers crossed...' i just dont have the motivation to stop anymore, but at the same time i want to, just to show her i can. helpp?
). But I never told him to do it. It's not my fault.
