Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - He has a new girlfriend
Its a long story and I wont bore you with details, but there was this guy called Daniel (changed his name to protect) and he sexually abused me over about 6 years. We were the same age and at the time, while I was uncomfortable with what he was doing, I didnt know that it was wrong, it was betwee the ages of 11-17. While I was in hospital I confronted him and told him what he made me feel and that what he had done had made me suffer with depression and bulimia. He seemed sorry and because (stupidly) I still cared for him I agreed to give it another go between me and him. We met up a few times but it didnt feel right and I knew that if it ever got physical again that I would totally feel uncomfortable again so I told him that I needed to move on with my life and that he was in the past and I needed to leave it there. He said that he had changed and that he could be the person I wanted him to be, but I just couldnt do it. I was lucky because I had the support of my family and the people at the hospital.
Anyway, just a month or so after he said that he still loved me and wanted to make a go of things, he now has a new girlfriend. It makes me wonder, did he ever really care about me and love me, or was he just saying that? I dont know, but I am glad that I didnt carry on the relationship. Since then I have made some new friends at the day hospital that I go to and there is a guy that I really get on well with. I am scared that if I was ever in a relationship that when it came to the physical side of things I wouldnt know how to act and how to deal with it. Daniel has ruined that part of it. Thankfully this guy that I have met knows about Daniel and what he did so I think that if things did develop that I would be able to talk to him about how I felt and ask him if he would be patient and guide me through things.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get a few things out.
Sometimes it's hard to tel lif people like that really do love you, or if they're just saying it. It's natural to feel a little upset and bitter or even jealous of someone else getting his attention, even if you didn't like all of it when he was around you. *hugs*
Try to forget about him angel, you did the right thing when you broke off the relationship before, don't get sucked in again.
This other guy you met sounds really nice,, I think when you feel ready you should talk to him about how you feel. You wouldn't have to jump into the physical side of things striaght away.
It depends on the individual sweetie, I've just broke up with my long term boyfriend and a month later I've started seeing someone else, it doesn't mean for one second that he never loved you,or he was just saying it. When my ex and I split we said we loved each other, and all we needed was a break, but I either wanted him, or I didn't. I wasn't prepared to wait, so I got on with my life.
He's still got to be thinking of you, if thats what you're getting at. I'm falling for my new bloke, but my ex still pops up every now and again.
Honey, it doesn't mean he didn't love you, people are strange, some prefer to brood on all the amazing times and wish they could have them back. Your ex sounds like a realist. He's probably 70% sure its never going to happen again, so he's trying to move on.
Thats very true. I am moving on and I have totally cut him out of my life, though his mum and my mum are really good friends so I will still see his mum but its not that bad, at least I dont have to see him anymore. I used to think that it was my fault that he did those things to me because I felt I was weak and I should have said no, but now I realise that it was his fault and even on the occasions when I did say no, he still carried on so I know now that he is to blame and not me. I dont hold a grudge against him so Im not wasting my emotional health thinking about him and what he did. I dont really think much about him anymore, I have just come to accept that it happened, I cant change that, but now I can move on from him, Im not living in the past anymore.
