Mildly Triggering (ED) - oh crap!

[torn_into_peices]

my mum found bloody tissues and dressings in my bin today whilst i was at college... she knows i self harm but she has a tendancy of going thru my things...
i think she found my ED diary (a diary i keep of the food i eat and how many times ive b/p etc etc)...
anyway,, so my mum tried to have a little "talk" with me later on that night and said is there anything you want to tell me...
i just said no because there's a hell of a lot she doesnt know so where the hell would i start...
she began sayin well i'm not really bothered about your self harming because there's nothing i can do..
then she moved on to how much weight ive lost.. saying i eat so im not starving myself..
i dont over over exercise so it can't be that.. then said.. so you must be making yourself sick..
i almost had a heart attack... i obviously denied it but im so scared of what's going to happen in the next few days...
i just really need to vent and get this off my chest... hope everyone's okay x

[Sleepless123]

Hey i can understand why you would be scared about your Mum finding out that your making yourself sick.

That would be a really big thing to share but at the same time im sure she just cares and is probably very worried about you which is probably why she sat you down to talk.

i guess now that this has happened maybe you need to think about whether it would be best to tell her or not ie to decide what the pros and cons may be and whether it would help you to say something or not.

i dont know what kind of relationship you have with your Mother but do you think that if you werent scared then that you would want to tell her?

How do you anticipate her reacting if you do tell her?And is her reaction what you are worried about?

Also perhaps if you do want to share with her but dont feel able to verbally perhaps you could write her a letter and then later give her more info on ED in general maybe even??

Just some thoughts.Sorry i dont know if these ideas will help at all.im just thinking out loud.

Does anyone in your life know about your eating problems who could perhaps support you through this and also perhaps help you in talking to your Mum?

If no one at all knows but you dont want to talk to your Mum do you think this might be the time to at least say something to someone you trust and/or a professional etc?

i know these are big things to do and i dont want it to sound like i think they are easy.

i dont.

im just aware that you already feel bad and perhaps it is best to catch things now and get some help and support if you can rather than doing it when things have progressed even further down the line for you.

Please keep talking to us and im sorry youve been feeling so bad and struggling so much with this.

Good luck.Take care.

[nowhereman]

I hope the next few days go ok and that maybe you can get help now your mum knows. Will be thinking of you.

[Lou Lou]

its always scary when parents find out about these things. I totally understand your fear.
Now that your mum seems to know though, it may be easier to get help.

I know its hard not to be scared by a persons reaction to something this big, but just take a deep breath and get it out (if you're comfortable with your mum enoguh for her to know)
Like Sleepless said, it might help to write it down or give her ED info so that she understands more aobut what you're going through and how best to support you.

Sorry i rambled that slightly. I hope it's ok for you *hugs* Good luck with it all xxxx

[torn_into_peices]

thanks for your replies..
i dont think im ready to talk to my mum about any of this yet..
maybe at a later date i dont know but deffinatly not now..
i see a lot of people who help me so i guess the first step is to tell them..
one of my friends know but i dont really like to talk about it..
anyway thanks again for your support.x