Triggering (Abuse) - what was I supposed to do?

[charlieglasgow]

Oh the day when I move out. I'm looking so forward to that glorious day.

What am I supposed to do?!?!

She says I cannot afford to move out.

I've lied to her about the jobs. I've been extremely lazy this past week.

I lied to her about YCC having called me back. I haven't even applied. I was deescalating her mood. Which I've taken on as my job. Hopefully as soon as I get hired I can apply at Casper Village and GET OUT NOW. I wish there were apartments to go to who would take you in because of abuse. gr.

I read the sticky about the abuse encyclopedia, and read the website about abusive mothers. shane had guilted me for considering her abusive. that website is so comforting, strangely. because it's like our relationship.

i have lied to her. a lot. as a tactic to NOT go where I don't want it to go.

I need out. soon. I know it's a lie. She says I'm about as responsible as a 12 year old and I'm just going to have to learn to live by her rules because I can't afford to move out because thats just the way it is.

And the RULES KEEP CHANGING. Constantly. I can't keep up and subsequently feel inadequate. NOT MY FAULT.

she's messed up my life enough.

i know i'm more grown up then her. in ways.
i need to be out.
on my own.
no roommates. my own apartment. to heal.

[Jay603]

perents sometimes have a hard time with the fact that we know that in 5 months (for me) we don't have to listen to then.

They have a hard time letting go of us. my mother has done some dumb stuff just to show me hows boss when she had no right to. But when i realized that she was having a problem dealling with me growing up it became a lot easyer for me to talk to her about it

how much longer to you have left ?

[~SuNsHiNe~]

not quite sure what advice I can offer, but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and am thinking of you. Hope youre able to move out and get the space you need to heal. keep posting if you need to, were all here to support you always remember that:)