Triggering (SI) - is showing my scars wrong??

[jen-x]

hey, i'm a newbie round here but i hope to be offering advice and getting to know you guys!

this is really bothering me at the minute... i'm covered in si scars and am sick of having to be wary of what i wear all the time. This summer i didnt bother hiding. i feel relatively comfortable with them as just a part of who i am now, (obviously i would never show anything new) but they are all very obvious as i never got them treated so the scarring is bad. I've been looking around the net and everything seems to be about how to cover them, and if anyone says they don't there seems to be an uproar of people saying that you are shoving your problems in someone elses face. I don't do this at all. for me it is part of moving forward. not having to think about covering my scars means i don't have to think about them. They're easier to ignore, and whilst i get the second glance, the odd stare, or gossiped about, i still feel like i'm that tiny bit closer to the real me, without the disorders, and crap that comes with them.

guess i just wanted opinions, because whilst im not necessarily embarrassed, i'm starting to feel guilty (easily done with me).. i don't know.... sorry this got a bit long.... don't really understand it myself now..

thanks if you read this

jen xx

[crazykat]

I think its all personal opinion, you will find that all people will have different views on this. So go with whatever you feel most comfortable with. If you feel ok not covering up then by all means do it, it shouldn't matter what other people think. For me personally I still cover up but thats only because what I feel most comfortable doing at the moment, however one day I do hope to be able to have enough courage to not cover up. Take care
Kat xxx

[PrincessVegeta_x]

Jen, I'm going to echo everything that Kat said in the above post (and a big welcome to RYL by the way, I'm sure you'll find it a supportive and helpful environment).

Everybody does have different opinions on showing scars in public, but you must do what you feel comfortable with, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. That's the most important thing: to decide what you want.

I've recently started to go out in public with my arms on show, and sure I get a few nasty stares, but I don't let anyone bother me. I don't care anymore. I've lived through the hard times, the scars show it and I'm proud to be myself (nasty marks on my arms 'n all).

Katie
x

[raistlin]

Everyone above had good advice. And welcome to RYL! :)
When I am with my friends, who have told me that it makes them uncomfortable, I cover them up. They are my good friends and I am not bothered with doing such a simple thing for them.
When I am without them, I usually just show my scars. People do give me a second look, but I don't really care.

[l'il esky]

hey jen,
welcome to ryl :) also this year i decided not to hide my scars too...only hide new wounds and i thihnk it has really helped with my confidence and being able to try and move on.so i think this is a really positive step...there are only some people that stare just that little bit too long.

i say go for it, if you are comfortable then its great!! xx

[starnight]

Hi Jen

Like above its diff for everyone, for me not covering is moving forward because I can admit it to myself. It's a personal choice and if you choose to not hide them bec ause you feel comfortable that way then I say good on you.

xx

[Miss-Dramatic]

I show myn wether der new or not. Id never show them to me mum n dad but to me mates im nt arsed

[musicmad123]

Hey I might show scars when I'm out on my own, possibly around school but not with my family, I think people who can show scars are really brave, but not around people who could be triggered and as you said not new cuts..

[anonyone30]

Hi,and welcome to RYL. I have the same dillemma. I never show anything new, and I don't let my parents or the kids see any of my scars.I show older scars when i'm out and about, but only if I am feeling confident. I don't feel they are something to be ashamed of, or hide, but I feel self consicious at times. I don't think that 'should' comes into it, its about how you feel, and the weather has been so humid lately that i for one have certainly prefered short sleeves!
Take it easy,
pm me any time
Suzanne

[The War Doctor]

I say if you're comfortable with it, don't be ashamed to let them show. I never got any of my cuts treated either, so the scarring is very bad and very obvious, but I don't bother hiding them (unless I have recent cuts).

[rustedchains]

I think showing scars is a sign of healing. And who knows? You could be helping someone else in a roundabout way. Such as they see that you are comfortable with showing your scars, perhaps if they are struggling they will get the courage to reach out for help. They will know that they aren't alone in their struggles, that other people have scars too.

Scars aren't something to be ashamed of. They are our battle wounds - the marks of our past. Even though I struggle with the fact I wake up every morning and go to bed every night faced with scars, and it seems like the reminders of my past are slapped in my face.. it's not the end of the world. My S/I scars are just as much part of my story as my non S/I scars. I don't bother hiding my scars from other injuries (I do hide the one on my stomach because it's from surgery and it's huge), so why should I hide my S/I wounds?

[GhostDude306]

Hi, and welcome :)

I personally think that its up to what you feel comfortable with, most people hide them because they are ashamed but they shouldn't be; every scar shows a battle, the fact we are still here shows we won it. I plan to start showing my scars when they have faded to atleast light pink, most are still red. I think showing scars is a sign that you are getting over it.

Do what you feel comfortable...

[-Shae-Lynn*]

Don't ever feel guilty!
You deserve to be happy and if that means showing your scars then by all means do it! If you are okay with your scars then there is no reason to hide them. People who have "innocent" scars, like scars they did not cause, they don't hide them so why should you worry about it?
Everyone is different, be proud of yourself <3

[Kira]

Welcome,

Personally i dont think that showing your scares is wrong, but to be honest its down to you, do what you feel most comfortable with.

[Jay603]

i can't show mine because i don't run around in a speedo (uper leg) and i'm a guy so the hair on my legs make is areally hard to see all but 2 of them.

my girl freind hides hers for the most part,

i don't think it's wrong but i just don't see why people get upset when peopel stare, i have a big gap between my front teeth and peopel stare at that, but if it bothered me i would keep my mouth shut but it dosen't.

so if your gonna show them don't be bothered when idots on the street stare at you.

[zivalover16]

I don't mind showing my scars around people I know or even don't knoe but the only time I make an effort to cover them up is when I'm around my parents......but otherwise I'm comfortable....

[xADAMx]

I'm also a newbie (first post infact so be gentle with me!).

As other's have said, if you feel comfortable with not covering up then you should continue to do so - at the end of the day it's you and you alone that knows if you feel right doing it.

You mentioned about guilt - do you feel this as you're not sure how people with react? - as in, ignorant people taking up the opinion that you are 'showing off' what you do, rather than just being the case that you no longer feel the need to hide it?

Personally, at first I had no choice but to show my scars due to my school uniform (I was 15), I did wear braclets and try to cover up, but the over-strict nature of the school meant I kept getting asked to remove them.

Now fortunately I am able to hide them (top of arm, near shoulder) and always make a conscious effort to hide them - especially from my parents. I think showing them now, I would almost feel ashamed - so I would cover up, even if they were in a more obvious place.

It does sound though that from the way you mention not having to worry about them anymore, that not forcing yourself to cover up has taken a weight off of you shoulders, which can only be a good thing for you.

Oopps.. I've turned this into an essay!

Adam xx

[Bella Cullen]

wrong..? i don't think so. it depends on your reasoning i suppose.
like, if you're just doing it to see what people think, then yes.
if you're doing it to show the world that you are STRONG, that you have overcome this, then no.

[eskimo_hobo]

Hi :]
I've always felt that not worrying about my scars helps me move forward too. I think that if you're comfortable showing them, then that's really all that matters. They're your scars. Do whatever helps you move forward, and if that means not having to worry about covering them, then I think that would be best.

[jen-x]

wow! you guys are awesome.... I'm so pleased to hear that many of you feel the same, in that it gives you more confidence, is like moving forwards etc (it's good that so many of you are in that place.. ).

l'il esky... this is my first year also!! It's so nice to be able to shop with friends and actually enjoy it, because i'm not always thinking long sleeves, must have long sleeves!!

With regards to the guilt, i'm concerned that it is distressing for others, but mostly that si gets a bad press for being attention seeking, and i don't want to further compound this stereotype! I'm had a pretty positive day yesterday tho, so feeling slightly better about this now anyway..

as said, you guys are awesome and HI !!

jen xx