I was sexually molested by my step-dad from the time I was 3-4 yrs old till earlier this year [I'm 15 years old right now]. My mom found out 2 and 1/2 years ago and didn't go to the police. He continued to live with me and mom, and he still continued to sexually molest me.
He moved out around 4ish months ago with another women, but he still around. He's got really bad anger issues and he's got issues with drug and alcohol. My mother feels very sorry for him and wishes to help him at times, no matter what he's done.
Lately I've been wanting to turn my dad over to the police for the child abuse he done to me. And I've been wondering what would happen to my mom? Would she have to go to prison for not saying anything? It's not like she wanted me to get molested more, but she honestly thought it would stop. She didn't know. And I also told her not to go to the police because I didn't want to be embarrassed. Will she be in trouble? Will they take me from my mother if I go forth with this?
You might not, since she wasn't the one abusing you.
Can you re-search online what might happen if you brought it up with the police?
He needs to be punished for what he did, its so wrong & you didn't deserve any of it; just like he doesn't deserve to walk free.
You need to report this. Your mum might get questioned about it, but I doubt that anything will happen to her. Imagine if he's out there hurting other kids like he did to you? Do you think you can honestly let that happen hun?
You need to get him reported and you need support. Your mums a big girl and she can look after herself. xxx
Are you still at school? Is there any way you could ask a teacher? I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but in the UK there is a non emergency number you can call the police on. You may be able to talk through your options with them.
Or maybe you could call a legal consultancy firm, they maybe able to give you some brief advise or over view, or even better if there is a U.S. equivalent of child line, they would tell you all your options free and confidentially.
Sorry if all of that is a bad idea, i'm not a legal expert, that just my speculation. Maybe someone else will actually know the answer, but that might be a way to get some answers.
Or maybe your local library, there is no way anyone could know what book you are reading if you are worried about anyone finding out that you are looking into it. I think you would be looking under child abuse prosecution law? but that could be some hefty reading, but if anyone asks, you can simply say you are looking into becoming a lawyer specializing in child abuse?
Sorry if thats baffling and not much help!
X
~~~If you always watch the demonsbehind you,
you will never see the angels ahead. ~~~
If you're going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill
Thanks for your help guys, it means the world to me. (:
I know I need to come forward, but there are so many things that can go wrong and there are so many 'what ifs' that I just don't have the strength or the courage to do it. :/
Social Services don't like to remove a child from their non-abusive parent even if they "turned a blind eye" so to speak. If your mother ever contributed to the abuse or went to extensive lengths to hide it from others then they might want to remove you, but this doesn't sound like the case. As someone mentioned earlier she would most likely be questioned and it could cause some turmoil, but you should get some other support to help you through that (as well as us. :) But you really are so brave to try and report this, and you will be doing a great thing for yourself, and others as well. You can look up laws on child abuse in NC but it might not give as specific information as you are looking for. *hugs* Good luck and don't be shy about asking anything else.
This link describes the law in general terms. It's fairly easy to understand, but it's not specific to your state.
This link is from the Child Welfare Information Gateway. It describes different types of abuse and has links to many other thing where you can sort of launch a search to see what would happen.
You likely would be left with your mother. After all, she thought it had stopped, she may have thought it was a one-time occurrence, or she can claim to have misunderstood what was going on. What matters is if she can provide a safe environment for you. And the state will check and see for things like basic cleanliness, food, clothing, a bed. Stuff like that.
The investigation will probably focus on you and your father. Since you're a minor, the state may prosecute for you, although you will get a say if you want it to go all the way. BUT, I'm not a policeperson. I'm your average dude on the street who happens to have an idea. You'll want to call and check procedures and find out what would happen, just to be sure.
Anyway, good luck. And we're always here if you need us.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, generally state protective services, like social services or whatever it's called in NC, are very focused on re-uniting the family if you and your mom do get separated. But I do doubt you'll be separated.
I'm not sure what causes depression, I don't think the scientists really know either, but I think it is caused by a couple of factors, one of which can be abuse.
Not all people who are depressed have been abused, not all abused people get depressed. But, if you are abused you are more likely to be depressed than if you weren't abused, although you may have ended up depressed anyway. Does that make sense?
