Triggering (ED) - My Mom's husband!!!!

Yellow · 07-10-2008, 09:30 PM

oh my...im scared for my Mom.

ok...little background......a few years back before she got married, she asked me what i knew about bulimia. i told her. she said she was concerned that Mike could be bulimic based on what she saw.

well...i spoke to her today and its for sure. she's heard him in the bathroom.
he only weighs x amount and still thinks he's fat. he's in his 60"s. he doesnt believe in mental illness.

his first wife he was married to for over 20 years. she died of alcoholism. he stayed by her side until the end. after a few years he started dating again.

my best guess is that her death triggered his bulimia.

this is the FIRST time my Mom has had a chance at happiness. if he dies...she will crumble. i told her she HAD to confront him.
i told her to make a comfy atmosphere and then express her concerns.
she's terrified to do it.
she says she will in the next few weeks.

they will be in Florida on vacation in a few weeks alone. she plans to do it there.

please...if any of you guys are or have been bulimic....what worked best to help you recover? what is the "right" thing to do with someone you love?

DO NOT trigger yourself over this please.
if you cant give advice....i understand.

thank you guys.
loves.
xxxxx

skyran · 07-10-2008, 09:43 PM

my honest answer is that i don't really know.
sorry for not being any help, i just wanted you to know that i'd read it.

i agree that she should say something, but i think that it's important not to push it? maybe just to be there with open arms for him when he's ready? that's what i want most of all sometimes - no interrogation or anything that adds to the shame, just someone to be there.

but each individual and situation is different i think?
sorry, doesnt make much sense i guess. will think about it some more.

sky xx

Pomegranate · 08-10-2008, 01:22 AM

I have no advice hun. I just wanted to bump this and let you know I am thinking of you. Have you thought about posting in the ED forum? You might get more useful responses is all xxxx

Yellow · 08-10-2008, 01:44 AM

im more comfy in vets but i probably will post it in ED for more helpful replies.

thank you guys.
love to all.
xxxxxxxxx

Casper_Fading · 08-10-2008, 07:42 AM

i don't know what would help with my bulimia... maybe just constant support? I dunno. *cuddles* sorry love

Margo · 08-10-2008, 02:34 PM

The main problem with dealing with this is not the bulimic side of things. It is getting a 60 year old man who doesnt believe in mental illness to admit there is a problem.

Once that is acheived then the rest can follow.

At that age im not sure how receptive someone would be.

I know this sounds a little odd but the thing that springs to my mind is an "intervention" similar to those that are performed for drug addicts.

Even more important than this however for me is that YOU Rachael learn to keep some distance form all this and maintain care for yourself. Jesus you have enough on your plate already. You can be supportive and give advice and help. its not your job to make him better and take on the stresses of the whole family.

Do what you can to help by listening and being supportive and offering advice and documentation. That all that should and will be asked of you. Dont make yourself ill over this please!

Big huggy things

Matthew xxx

~Grace~ · 08-10-2008, 07:35 PM

*hugs you*
Im so sorry, im empty on words today but i just wanted you to know that I read and that I care.
But I do agree on whats been said in that you have to look after yourself and not take on anymore problems.
Much love xx