Creepy? Old fashioned? Hypocritical? A good idea? Something to be encouraged?
Discuss.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Nice to see some idealism still. It can tick off some people who dont have any though. Virtue is almost made a disorder these days. Jonas Brothers were doing this too (they live new me)
I think there is a fine line between being "pure" and going obsessively overboard.
I don't agree with the current media culture that uses sex to sell everything, and portrays sex as a way to have a good time with anyone else willing to give it up.
However, I really don't think it's healthy to abstain from any physical contact until marriage. Even the Amish aren't that strict!
I could really see it creating 2 different mindsets, netiher of which I think are all that great.
1. Physical contact is bad bad bad, no matter what the situation. Sex is evil, nasty and dirty and only leads to terrible things.
or
2. A deprivation/binge scenario, where after being deprived the girls go absolutely nuts and end up in even more trouble than if they hadn't abstained. Say you've never had chocolate for 24 years, and then suddenly you taste it, and love it. You loose all self control and engorge yourself with it, and the next thing you know you've gained 30 pounds and have diabetes.
For me, there is also the question about what they are teaching the men, and what they are teaching about birth control. If they aren't teaching the men to be as "pure" and they aren't teaching the women about STDs and STD protection they are setting the women up for a bad situation.
Even if you teach abstinence until marriage, teaching the women about BC options once they get married isn't going to hurt things.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Hmm.
Purity.
I've never had sex.
But I wouldn't consider myself 'Pure'.
I spent so many years with a yoga organisation/sect that tried to promote purity in mind, emotions, thought, body, actions... and that really damaged me.
It cemented the .. isolation and lack of sexuality promoted by my parents - I had to stay their 'little girl'. Right into my teens and beyond.
The body is what it is, and desires are what they are. Healthy development is important. All round development. We don't want people who're so repressed [like I ended up] that their lives lack connection, meaning and relationship along with a distorted body image. We want people who respect their bodies, themselves, and their relationships with others.
I think it's nice that someone can do that, although I would never do that myself. I will be watching the programme on Channel 4 this week which is about this. On one of the trailers there was a girl saying she'd save her first KISS for her husband. That is taking it a step too far, in my opinion.
Everything in moderation though. Having sex doesn't mean you have to go out and sleep with every guy you meet. You can wait a while, get to know them, be in a relationship, etc. There's no need to wait until marriage.
^^^^ Exactaly. That is one of the things I think is strange, this black and white view of sex. Either you are a "pure, virtuous virgin" or a total slut who needs to be shunned. Just because someone has sex before marriage doesn't mean they are going to sleep with anyone that is breathing.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
^^^ Just reminded me. I don't mean to be offensive to anyone who agrees with them, but most (not all, granted) of those who agree with these things and follow through with them tend to have a fairly black and white view of life in general, and what is right and what is wrong.
I think as long as sex is explained to them for what it is 'meant' to be in their opinion, a romantic act between two people in love, then that's fine. They can do what they want, however a lot of places in America teach children that sex is dirty, and that someone who has had sex is dirty and 'used' It's pretty horrible. I was a watching a documentary on this a while ago and there was a 'sex ed' guy who was describing people who have had sex as dirty toothbrushes and that you shouldn't go near them because you don't know where they've been.
Obviously, that is ridiculous and stupid but I think in the fewplaces where things are explained and taught properly (And I'm keeping the faith that there even are places like that) then I don't see the problem with wanting to wait till you're married. Aslong as it's for the right reasons and not because you were forced into it by your father when you were 6 years old and you've been brainwashed to think you'll be eternally damned if you don't.
But yes the girl who said they're saving their first kiss for their wedding night is frankly ridiculous.
Yeah I'm going to watch the "Virgin Daughters" programme on 4, it's about kids as young as six making pledges that they wont even kiss anyone until they're married. I think it's total crap. How can a kid of six even understand about what she's doing?
I don't mind the silver ring thing, of teenagers and adults pledging that they will stay virgins until they're married, but including kissing in that is taking it too far.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I do respect the teenagers for making this pledge themselves and deciding that this is what they want to do, but I think to bring children as young as 6 into the eqauation teaching them that sex is bad/wrong yada is really wrong.
How can a child as young as 6 understand what kissing even is, let alone sex? I for one remember rumours gonig around the playground in primary school about babies being made from people 'sleeping together' as in literally sleeping beside each other. I just think they're too young to make these kind of decisions.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Does anyone else worry that whilst this may encourage purity until marriage, it may encourage teenagers to marry with haste only to regret it and divorce later on?
i think that if its what people want to do, they can do it, and they're no problem.
wha ti dotn like is the name, becuase it basically calls everyone else 'un pure'. sex is for the majority of times a natural thing between two peopel who care alot about/love each other, why shoudl soemthign natural be impure?
i also agree with what aidey said.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
I hate that article. It draws only on the more extreme / weird side of things. The majority of girls (and guys) who want to wait till they're married to have sex are pretty ordinary people. Yes, they may think that sex before marriage is wrong, but they don't force their beliefs on everyone else. And no, they're not all "repressed". Not having sex doesn't mean that you have to repress your sexuality; they're not the same thing. Sexuality is a major part of who you are, you don't have to have sex in order to express it. Also, not believing in sex before marriage doesn't mean that you think of sex in general as a bad thing. Or that you think of everyone who's had sex as a "dirty slut". But of course, none of that makes good 'news'.
Also, from experience, sleeping with different people can do a hell of a lot of damage, but that's just put down to personal choice. And yet purity pledges are wrong? Riiight.
There's no harm in having sex before marriage. But I don't agree with getting kids as young as six to make this pledge. It's like brainwashing. Let them make their minds up when they are old enough. If you choose to not have sex and made that choice yourself when you are old enough to, that's great, and good luck to you. But saving your first kiss for marriage? I think that's taking it a little too far.
Is anyone else reminded of the episode of Family Guy?
If this is all a dream and you're not quite what you seem then I'll sleep in vain
i can say from experience i have told myself no sex till marriage i was not told by my parents or the church or anything to me it was something i thought was right. i am waiting because it will mean so much more when its time for me
Sherlock: Oh, please. Killing me. That's so two years ago.
It all comes down to personal choice. you want to wait, you wait. If you don't, you don't
What concerns me is that some parents and organisations are forcing this on young children. It is a personal choice and no child is capable of making an informed decsion about something as complex as sexual relationships. It's just not fair.
It also bothers me that they are being taught abstience only. Like I said it's a personal choice...you caught teach opinion. This means that kids are growing up grossly misinformed and lets face it, unless they want to wait until they're married they won't, and will act out during adolescence (as we all do) but without the correct education on sex and relationships they will get themselves into serious trouble.
I wish parents and organisations would just give kids all the options, educate them as fully as possible and respect that these children will make their own decisions when the time comes.
'the virgin daughters' on tomorrow, channel 4 at either 8pm or 9pm may perhaps shed a little more light on the matter.
i think teenagers would be able to make there own decision about this but young children shouldnt be pressured to agree to things they dont understand.
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