The "I am ugly and fat" comments were silly and annoying but I don't know why they should create such a fuss while at the same time RYL is linking to sex chat rooms/forums in stickies with winks from some admins who are more concerned with jokes they think are in bad taste than with genuine saftey issues. RYL is really off the beam sorry to say and I can well understand why a school/parents would block it. Little concerns become big issues while big concerns are dismissed.
Jack, from the feedback we'd recieved from a number of members, the 'little issues' as you call them really weren't.
The issue you've mentioned is in relation to another thread, within which I believe Typsee has been in contact with you a few times, and with which you fail to respond.
You often make these sorts of statements, that RYL is 'off the beam' - please, please do contact us via email, via PM'ing one of us, via post-report - help us out! Please! You've got your opinions, and we're more than willing to listen to them - but you have to let us know about them, rather than just posting in the odd thread with some off-hand critique.
Actually I have had feedback and have read feedback that they are issues. Typsee is not the person to talk to about them though. RYL links to sex forums and chats in stickies - simple as. Sensible people get it. Certainly linking to sex sites offering "face to face visits" is worse then "I am fat" posts in photo threads.
Last edited by Isoverity : 25-08-2008 at 08:30 AM.
Jack, I don't think I have ever seen you send a post report or PM a moderator about an issue you are having. It seems that if you have a problem, you will sit on it until you find the most opportune time to make a public jab at how terrible you find RYL is run. Quite frankly your attitude and approach can come across as narky and hurtful. Whether or not that is your intention is something only you can know. The moderators are more then happy to receive complaints or suggestions, and do take every single one seriously and do discuss each one thoroughly, but heaven forbid should that ruin the image of forum vigilante.
Actually I have spoken to mods and others and dont have a disagreement with most Ive spoken too. I have mentioned the issue in public exactly twice in maybe a month or so - not exactly trend. I don't find anything hurtful about saying I think its wrong for a forum with so many very young people who are often vulnerable from abuse and neglect etc to be linking them to sex themed chats and forums where site people are even offering to meet people.
Its a peculiar place that can have teddy bear threads and also links to a place whose motto is "We stand at the crossroads of gender balanced on the sharp edge of a knife" and have fetish forums/chats (coss dressing etc).
No responsible site would do that imo and experts say those are the worst sites to send people too
David Finkelhor, Ph.D. is Director, Crimes against Children Research Center, Professor of Sociology, University of New Hampshire. In an interview he says:
"What puts kids at risk?
FINKELHOR: That’s a good question. It’s not primarily having a social networking profile or giving out personal information that puts kids at risk. What puts kids at risk are things like having a lot of conflict with your parents, being depressed and socially isolated, being hyper, communicating with a lot of people online who you don’t know, being willing to talk about sex online with people that you don’t know. I think also, for example, having sexual orientation questions probably puts kids at risk
MAGID: Being in doubt about your sexual orientation?
FINKELHOR: Yeah, cause kids are online kind of looking for help on that and that makes them vulnerable. These are kids who have encountered trouble and are having difficulties in various places in their lives, probably because they don’t have good relationships, or they are in conflict, don’t have people to confide in. They’re out there and more vulnerable to these sexual exploitations."
Yet this sort of risk and exposure is exactly what RYL does. I also know of a lot of complaints about other linked teen sites where even members are complaining about the amount people in chats soliciting teens and asking for photos. Its a pretty warped situation really
I dont think RYL needs to be steering young people to sex themed forums and chats (and most links lead to exactly that). I see threads with photos of street signs locked up but then send vulnerable young people to forums full of strangers to talk about sex, or getting their bits cut off, or where the site even offers to meet people.
One 'teen" site says:
"We will arrange to meet up with you, have a chat, find out a little about you and help ease any concerns you have about coming to the group for the first time. We understand it is a nerve-wrecking first step, especially for those who aren't out to anyone. We would like to make it as easy as possible for you. And when you get here, one of our expert tea/coffee makers will make a cuppa especially for you... just because it's you!"
Yay - "just because its you" indeed.
That's from a website which RYL leads to.
I cant think of any responsble school or parent who would want their student or child coming to RYL and getting linked to strangers wanting to meet them to discuss their sex lives.
Now I can say there are mods and others who absolutey get the fact that this sort of thing is irresponsible. Most mods I have to say are very good and I have no issue with them but they cant make the larger decisons. I can understand people might not like talking about such things publicly but if they can allow them publicly then I have no sympathy. I could be having more fun doing other things rather than getting into debates about things that should be matters of common sense but somehow aren't.
Last edited by Snow White. : 28-08-2008 at 08:54 AM.
Reason: Removed inappropriate links.
Yet this sort of risk and exposure is exactly what RYL does. I also know of a lot of complaints about other linked teen sites where even members are complaining about the amount people in chats soliciting teens and asking for photos. Its a pretty warped situation really
For someone so clearly concerned, I'm disappointed you didn't report this. In fact, any of the things that you are discussing could have easily, easily been reported. Jack if you want to continue on, I suggest you start a new thread. This discussion is not for your above issue - it is about the photo threads. But the issue will certainly be dealt with, and the information you have given us taken and used, however in this particular thread is not the place for said discussion. I do hope you understand.
But why would you need to? Why does anyone need to comment on themselves? People don't post so they can comment on themselves, they post so other people can comment. If people want to comment on themselves they can do so in private.
Why should someone have to completely ignore a once enjoyable thread because they are worried of what they will see and read? People were constantly reminded about these comments, and those reminders were constantly ignored. In my view, if you can't treat something with respect you shouldn't have it. Our community couldn't treat the waywt thread with respect so I don't see any problem with it being deleted.
for their own safety! i don't see why that is so hard to understand.
Anyone who viewed that thread a lot will know that I was a fan of it too, but I still believe it's gone for good reasons.
You can easily say that if people have a problem with it then they should ignore the thread, but even if you know something's not good for you then it still doesn't mean it's easy to avoid & therefore isn't going to cause you problems.
Reassurance for what? Reassurance that you are fat? Reassurance that you aren't? Reassurance that you're pretty? What?
And anyway, there is a thread for people who need 'reassurance' it's the compliments picture thread. The "What are you wearing today" thread was about clothes only. Or at least that's what it was about originally.
And anyway, there is a thread for people who need 'reassurance' it's the compliments picture thread. The "What are you wearing today" thread was about clothes only. Or at least that's what it was about originally.
following from this.. what would happen if someone posted in the compliments thread and siad 'i feel so fat, i could really do with compliments' or whatever... and posted a picture, and they were very small? would that be removed as triggering?
also.. isnt size comparative? im a size 14, which to some people is small/normal, yet some people would rather die than be my size.
also.. if you do the thing with people just laying their clothes out.. is that going to prompt reports on 'i can see the label in that shirt and its a size 8 and im a size 14 it makes me feel awful' or something.
i think if someones going to be triggered by a picture of someone else.. you might as well get rid of the whole picture board.
doesnt thinspo work on just looking at very skinny people/pictures, even if people dont say anything about how fat they look, some people will still compare.
and what if someone is naturally very small, are their pictures banned?
gah.. i cant write what i want to write how i want to write it.. if youre going to get rid of thread with people saying their fat because it offends people, should you ban people sayin 'my nose looks huge' incase it offends someone with a bigger nose. shouldnt you stop people sayig stuff like 'ohhh nice boobs' etc etc incase it offends flat chested people.
^ As said (and repeated) many times before, it isn't/wasn't the pictures that caused the complaints, it was the words that went along with them that caused the upset.
I don't particularly care for seeing very slim girls/women, with comments such as "Oh my god, sorry, i'm having a fat day!" Because for me - being a larger woman in this day and age is a hard enough battle as it is, without coming on a website to find people who are 10 times smaller than you constantly putting negative comments under there pictures about how "fat" they are when infact they have nothing on them.
I've seen it on many threads, not just the waywtt thread - but it's somewhat "ignorable" on other threads because it's few and far between. Whereas on the waywtt, it was pretty much every page/every other page even after constant warnings from MOD's.
gah.. i cant write what i want to write how i want to write it.. if youre going to get rid of thread with people saying their fat because it offends people, should you ban people sayin 'my nose looks huge' incase it offends someone with a bigger nose. shouldnt you stop people sayig stuff like 'ohhh nice boobs' etc etc incase it offends flat chested people.
exactly.
it's like, you should also ban people from saying "i'm so ugly" incase they post their picture and they are actually better looking than the person looking at it, because it would make them feel bad.. and all the examples squirrelspit gave too.
people should just suck it up, some people are thinner than you, some people are prettier you, some thin girls feel fat, some normal sized girls feel fat (have you ever met a girl who is completely comfortable in their body?).
people need to stop complaining about it and get over themselves, like, seriously, real life doesnt censor this. it's not going to help anyone making this place an unrealistic version of real life, it will just upset them even more when it does (and will happen) in real life.
i understand why the mods have closed it, but i dont agree with it and i know debating this isnt actually going to do anything, because, as always, it is not a debate, it is the moderators defending themselves.
could we not do a poll and see who wants the thread and who doesnt? that would be the fairest option, no?
doing a WAYWT thread where the clothes arent on a person is a middle ground.....were trying to cater for as many people as possible. We know loads of people loved that thread, I liked that thread most of the time. If youre going to make a poll, maybe make it on who wants the just clothes one, or who wants it gone altogether, that would be very helpful :)
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I can say I haven't read most of the posts in this thread as they all seem to be dancing around the same things - but the general idea that i'm getting is that it's not the pictures but the comments that aren't good?
Is there any option to prohibit text in a thread?! And so people just post their pictures? Whereby then if someone really desperately wants to comment on the clothes they can PM someone? Or is that completely impossible?
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
