owhh i'm so disappointed.
and i don't see why people can't ignore it to be honest if they know they could potentially be triggered.
the ed forum makes me feel bad so i never go into it. it's quite simple really.
and i don't see why people can't ignore it to be honest if they know they could potentially be triggered.
That could be said about alot of things that bother people on RYL Linder, but when the problem remains and more and more people are being bothered/triggered/upset by it, there comes a time when the mods need to step in and do something about it.
And believe me, we've tried to deal with the problems that this thread has been causing in other less extreme ways .... the mods posted several reminders on that thread asking people not to post such negative "omg i'm such a fat slob" type comments about themselves, as it only made other members feel badly about their own body if they happened to be larger than the person in the picture .... but these comments still persisted, and the mods continued to get post report after post report about that thread, and we were also removing many photos from that thread that were bordering on "thinspirational", so that eventually we decided that the thread was causing more problems for members than it was being beneficial for the RYL community, and so we came to this decision to permanently delete the thread.
It is very important to the moderators that the posts and threads on RYL reflect the pro-recovery nature of the website, and we feel that this "what are you wearing today" thread was continually threatening the recovery and support nature of RYL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by linder surprise
the ed forum makes me feel bad so i never go into it. it's quite simple really.
I'm not sure why the ED forum makes you feel so bad Linder, as I have heard from alot of people who find it very helpful - perhaps if you'd like to change this, you could contact either Shambles, [Purple_Rain] or DooDahDoo who are mods of the ED forum, to look into the situation and see if anything can be done about it. But it definitely sounds like you are doing well in practising good self care by staying away from a place that makes you feel bad.
The ED forum is another aspect of RYL that the mods are focusing on with regards to trying to restore a more pro-recovery atmosphere, as alot of members have contacted us with their concerns the ED forum and that it has gotten quite "pro ED" in its posts and threads. So the mods and other RYL staff have been spending alot of time sorting through the comments, suggestions, and poll results that we've received from members in past discussions on the ED forum, and have been trying to decide on some changes that will help get the forum back on track.
I'm not sure why the ED forum makes you feel so bad Linder, as I have heard from alot of people who find it very helpful - perhaps if you'd like to change this, you could contact either Shambles, [Purple_Rain] or DooDahDoo who are mods of the ED forum, to look into the situation and see if anything can be done about it. But it definitely sounds like you are doing well in practising good self care by staying away from a place that makes you feel bad.
...
the ed forum thing is a personal thing that i have to deal with.. and so i deal with it by not going into there. i mean, i can understand that for some people the waywt thread made them feel bad because of the thinsipirational thing etc, but then i still think it can be easily ignored. i'm not hoping to change the decision because i know there is no way i can, i guess it's just another thing on ryl that has to change and i think it's stupid.
the ed forum thing is a personal thing that i have to deal with.. and so i deal with it by not going into there. i mean, i can understand that for some people the waywt thread made them feel bad because of the thinsipirational thing etc, but then i still think it can be easily ignored. i'm not hoping to change the decision because i know there is no way i can, i guess it's just another thing on ryl that has to change and i think it's stupid.
Coming from someone dealing with anorexia, this is kind of like telling an alcoholic just to walk by all of the bars. For people in actual recovery it is easier to ignore threads... but not everyone is in the recovery stage... so the thread could potentially feed someone into dangerous behaviors. I understand your point of view, but I have to agree that any thread that makes another member feel bad about themselves to a point where they could put themselves into danger... should be locked.. which is why the ED forum thread is gone. And I want to point out all the reasons probably aren't only because of people with eating disorders.. I have heard of this thread making members without eds feeling bad about themselves.
So, it is what it is, and now everyone has to accept and move on.. because at the end of the day the decision has been made.
I don't have an ED and that thread upset me on occasion. I said nothing about it and just moved on. But i can understand why others felt upset about it.
But i like to go onto the picture board, and as the thread was always one of the main ones on the page, it wasn't always easy to ignore it. And anyway, i did like seeing what other people are wearing, it's nice to see other peoples tastes in clothes & fashion.
If people had stopped putting themselves down in the forum in the first place it wouldn't have had to be deleted.
Also - an ED forum is for eating disorders - therefor if people are in recovery/wanting to get better, they have the option to ignore it. Whereas on the picture forum - it's for everyone on RYL, so it isn't always easy to ignore it.
I completely understand why it's been deleted. And i think the MOD's came up with the right decision for everyone.
Could the thread be brought back as a no-people thread? Like, people can post pictures of their clothes, but not while wearing them.
.....that kind of sounds like people would be naked.....
Anyway, with just clothes and no people maybe that would stop all the self-depreciating comments while still allowing people to share? I can't remember if this was discussed or not before, but could it work?
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Wardrobe thread is a good name . I was thinking "Favourite Outfits Thread" as another potential name.
You could lay the clothes out on the floor, bed or if it is on a hanger you could hang it up and take a picture. I know it's not quite the same as seeing people wearing the clothes, but if all body parts are banned from the thread it should cut waaaaaaaaaaaay down on the self depreciating comments. It's also a lot harder to tell how big/small clothes are when they are flat so it may help people feel less self conscious.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Could the thread be brought back as a no-people thread? Like, people can post pictures of their clothes, but not while wearing them.
*thinks*
ok - I cant see any problem with that suggestion - I will prod the other mods in the direction of this thread and see what they think of that idea, but thinking about it now, I cant see how any of the difficulties that we had before with the "what are you wearing today" thread would still be a problem if the thread was just a "clothes only" thread.
*Nods* great idea Aidey....I see no issues with it.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
*blushes* Thanks guys, although I don't really want to take credit because I swear someone else had suggested this before.
*thinks*
Maybe that was for the ED board thread? I don't know.....
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
the ed forum thing is a personal thing that i have to deal with.. and so i deal with it by not going into there. i mean, i can understand that for some people the waywt thread made them feel bad because of the thinsipirational thing etc, but then i still think it can be easily ignored. i'm not hoping to change the decision because i know there is no way i can, i guess it's just another thing on ryl that has to change and i think it's stupid.
I see what you're saying Linda but the problems in that thread go on in all the other long term picture threads, it was just most concentrated in the waywt thread.
And for me, being larger, it wasn't the pictures that bothered me it was the comments that went along with them, so why couldn't the people posting be respectful enough to not be so negative about their weight?
Especially after being reminded time and again by the mods?
Yes a few people have suggested that idea before, it is a good one though.
Just a quick question, was it more the negative comments along with the full body shot that made it be closed? Cause i just had a quick look in The Picture Board and there's atleast 4 threads where people's whole bodies are shown, and i didn't even continue browsing the whole first page.
Ali xox
With demons dancing off mirror images reflecting all that you wanted.
So far from perfect, onward we will strive.
Take it for what it's worth, this truth that you've realized.
You're not who you thought you were, it's time to see the other side of what you have become.
Not allowing this thread brings up so many other problems. As a community with rules, you have to be consistant, so where do we draw the lines with other photo threads? Can we post full body photo at all? For example if I visited say, London, could I post a photo of myself outside of Big Ben?
Instead of removing the thread, why not tell people not to make negative comments, or get people to put links to the photos so people can choose whether they want to click on somebody said says 'I look fat', or whether they want to scroll down the page.
I understand the mods feel a responsibility to protect its members, but you cannot control everything, there are going to be times both in real life and on the internet where people are going to feel uncomfortable, it is just human nature and we have to find our own ways to deal with it, such as linder saying she does not go into the ED forum. You cannot censor everything to make every member happy or else we would end up with just a General Chat forum.
This is a forum for people with mental health problems, there are going to be posts that people will find trigger and disturbing.
Last edited by jgiprjgrsjgiorsj : 24-08-2008 at 12:56 PM.
Yes, but this particular post was found triggering/upsetting by a lot of members. And of course, we tried everything before we removed the thread. There were so many reminders not to post self-depreciating comments about weight, but they often fall on deaf ears and that is when this final decision was made.
And yes - with rules breed consistency. We are always going to remove those self-depreciating comments if they are complained about, and more than not they are reported to us. As for full body shots, I see no reason why you cannot post said picture in front of big ben, as long as you don't make the same comments we've had to edit out of the other thread. From my understanding, unless the member was accentuating thinness in a full-body shot, it was more the issue of the comments that went with them.
full length pictures are allowed, with no negative comments in other threads? so it isn't the full length pictures that are the problem?
i don't think your rules make sense. from what i gather it was the 'IM FAT' comments that were upsetting people mostly. people make those comments in all threads, even if it most noticable in the clothes thread. i can understand why the negative comments upset people and shouldn't be allowed. they don't upset me they just make me think the person is a dick. why not try harder to address the DO NOT MAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS rule rather than delete the one particular thread.
i don't think it is fair on those who don't make negative comments and just want to show what they're wearing. people get upset everywhere in life (including the internet) and although i see why RYL is trying to keep upset to a minimal due to the nature of the forum, i really think this is going too far. how sheltered does this place have to be?
as for it being triggering to see skinny people, sorry but i think it is tough and people need to take more resposibility for looking in the picture board. you see skinny people everywhere it doesn't mean a thread should be deleted, and i do not believe it is fair. there is much worse crap posted on the forum than people posting outfits which ahs the potential to upset people.
strange thoughts come into your head and you better think them.
full length pictures are allowed, with no negative comments in other threads? so it isn't the full length pictures that are the problem?
i don't think your rules make sense. from what i gather it was the 'IM FAT' comments that were upsetting people mostly. people make those comments in all threads, even if it most noticable in the clothes thread. i can understand why the negative comments upset people and shouldn't be allowed. they don't upset me they just make me think the person is a dick. why not try harder to address the DO NOT MAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS rule rather than delete the one particular thread.
i don't think it is fair on those who don't make negative comments and just want to show what they're wearing. people get upset everywhere in life (including the internet) and although i see why RYL is trying to keep upset to a minimal due to the nature of the forum, i really think this is going too far. how sheltered does this place have to be?
as for it being triggering to see skinny people, sorry but i think it is tough and people need to take more resposibility for looking in the picture board. you see skinny people everywhere it doesn't mean a thread should be deleted, and i do not believe it is fair. there is much worse crap posted on the forum than people posting outfits which ahs the potential to upset people.
Totally agree.
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
. I was thinking "Favourite Outfits Thread" as another potential name. 
