hey i'm new here (i probably should have done and intro thingy but anyways......) i'm 17 and just started my senior yearof high school.
my junior year (especially 2nd semester) was pretty much a living hell. someone who was like a brother to me disappeared after his dad died. he reappeared about a month later on facebook but completely ignored me for another few months. i found out that one of my friends at church was taking outlandish amounts of pain medicine and smoking, and later that she was suicidal... then i had mad the mistake of taking 4 AP classes (college classes in high school where a test in may decides if you get college credit for the class) by may i was not doin so good to say the least. 1 of my friends knew some and 1 knew most-- the only reason he didn't know everything was that he was flakey and didn't really believe that i was doing that badly. ......
(ok this was only just over 3 months ago but i cant' stop)i cut my self for the first time during the ap test weeks, not much and not deep. during june it didn't happen very often-- i had to go on tour with a choir and the dorms were community style. starting july it got exponentially worse. i told 1 friend via honesty box on face book in the forst week of august-- by then it was atleast once a day--- bc i was mad at my parents/ i'd done poorly on something in school. he didn't really know what do say but he was really supporting and all that.... he keeps saying that i should go to a councilor--- and i'm starting to agree- it's starting to be 2/3 times a day....
but i'm scared that the school councilor will either not understand or tell my parents-- that is one step that i don't think i'll ever be ready for.
have any of you told a school concilor? any tips? should i tell a friend at my school (the guy who knows doesn't go there)? and see if they will come with me? or should i just suck it up and go myself? will they tell my parents?
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
I have told two different school counselors, and both were very helpful. One was while I was still in high school, and one while I was in college. They really do give you a sense in caring and understanding, and are very nonjudgmental of everything that you say to them. As for telling your parents.. They legally cannot say anything to your parents if you are 18 years old or older. And beyond that they cannot share any of your personal information unless they believe that you are in danger of hurting yourself or others. Self injury usually does not fall into that category. Now I see that you are just seventeen.. as I was when I told my counselor in high school. I knew that she would most likely have to tell my parents so instead of straight out telling her that I was hurting myself.. I told her about the stress and depression and how it was really effecting me. Like telling her all of the reasons you injure yourself without actually telling her that you do it. No one can guarantee that you will like the counselor that you talk to... but on the other side this person can really help you too. And also remember that you are not the first person to talk to the counselor about this type of things.. many have seen it over and over. There job is to help you. It is up to you whether to bring your friend or not.. if you are scared maybe you can write everything down so that you dont have to talk as much. I did that many times.
Good luck and welcome to RYL, I hope we are able to help you here :)
x Kate
Your reasons for SH sound so simliar to what mine were, Parents and School. So i know exactly how you feel.
School councilors are there to offer support and help, to whoever needs it. If anyone, i'd say they'd be the best person to talk to about SH, and once you're in a comfortable position to discuss it, then try telling your parents.
If you have any questions or just need to talk, you can always pm me :)
Hold your head high gorgeous, they will kill to see you fall.
First of all... welcome to RYL.. i am really glad you have posted...
Talking to a school counsellor sounds like a really positive thing to do.. and they will understand... they probably talk to loads of people who SI... and they won't be shocked or anything...
Telling your parents will depend on how old are you? if your over 16 then no they won't tell your parents... unless they think you are at major risk..
I am sorry school and your family has got so bad... and you started SI... but i hope you can get some support before things get worst...
Wow... You're pretty new to cutting and RYL, that's a very very very good thing. You just started cutting, it will get worse if you don't stop know. Please I'm begging you don't end up like me and others who have this huge addiction to it and hate the scars on our body, but at the same time can't seem to let them go. Exactly how many times have you cut? And what made you start? I'm gonna be a senior this year too, you don't want to wake up every morning with your first thought being " Well, how should I cover up my scars today" and the sooner you stop the better because you wont have to hide at school and in front of your friends and teachers and family... I'm really happy you're posting this early.
As for school counsulars, I am going to be honest with you, high school counsulars are good. They actually care about you. Middle school sucks, my counsular got all pissy with me the end of 8th grade and started saying how I owed her a thank you for "helping" me.... b!@#c... anyways enough with memory lane ^_^ telling a school counsular is a good idea, and if you really want a friend with you for support, take one, but the counsular will treat you pretty conmfortably, and I'm not sure about the parents part, most likely they will tell your parents, I don't know, my mom was in denial the whole time I'm not really sure...
STOP CUTTING WHILE YOU STILL CAN! I'M TELLING YOU IT'S NOT WORTH IT! THINGS WILL GET WORSE WITH TIME, ASK ANYONE HERE THEY WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING! YOU'LL START CUTTING DEEPER AND COVER MORE SKIN, IT DOESN'T GO AWAY, YOU'RE NEW, SO PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU STOP! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO YET, AND I HOPE YOU NEVER DO! I DON'T WANT TO READ A THREAD FROM YOU IN A YEAR SAYING HOW YOU "WISH YOU NEVER MADE THE FIRST CUT" WE ALL SAY THAT, YOU CAN STILL STOP.
And what gave you the idea to cut in the first place?
Last edited by laylay : 15-08-2008 at 08:08 PM.
Reason: minor spelling errors, words running together, etc
thanks you guys. that helped alot. i might not be ready to go talk tomorrow (ok monday but you get the point) but that helped eliminate alot of my fears about going to my school councilor.
thanks
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
i agree with laylay. everyday that goes by is another day i wish i had never cut that first cut. it just gets worse, do you really want to become an addict because that's pretty much what we are. all i can do is repeat what the others have said. i just want you to know that we don't want you to end up like us.
and there's something i think you should read. go to the advice section for self harm and read the article called "the cutting warning label" i wish i had seen this before i started all those years ago. there are some other good articles in there but that's the one that sticks out in my memory the most.
stay safe.
"Your life is an occasion; rise to it."~mr. magorium
you can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.
you haven't failed until you quit trying
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain stand for something or you'll fall for anything
ok-- i did a couple of journals that answered (as best i could) some of ya'll's questions (why i started mainly) (if you can't see them just pm me--- i have no clue what their set on....) . um...... but now i think mom knows.......
i drove home from school yesterday and had to search for my keys before leaving so i knew what was in my purse.... i get home, check email (purse sitting on table) and get a drink. then i get ready to go get my friend's present and right on the top of my purse is a band aid--- mom's the only other person in the house.......
honestly it freaked me out. i just left quickly.
what should i do? do you think she really knows or is just guessing?
(btw yes i am trying to stop. i just don't want her belittling me every step of the way)
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
