Triggering (SI) - Buckle under pressure

LabTechMK · 19-08-2008, 03:08 PM

Alright, so... I haven't cut in over a year now. Problem is, the urges are returning strongly.

Of my 3 best friends, 2 of them SI. The third one may as well, though i'd never know it. I fight day in and day out to keep myself from going back down this path, yet I have these 2 close friends who are there. No matter what I say or do, they continue. I know that I alone can't force someone to quit. There would probably be no such thing in this world if it were that easy.

In a way, it's like it's own peer pressure. Knowing they do it. Reading about it almost daily. Knowing that I once was the same, and can return to it so easily. They can't quit. They don't want to quit. Half the time, they seem to enjoy it fairly well.

What is to stop me from giving in and "joining the crowd" so to speak?

I don't want to go back down that road, but I can feel it coming.

~MK

HiddenStar · 19-08-2008, 03:14 PM

I'm sorry you feel like this.

Some people just feel that it is the only thing keeping them going for them at the moment (im sure you know)

Yeah i have 2 best mates who seem to enjoy selfharming too.
I'm a month free atm.

They show it off and stuff...So i understand what you are saying about peer pressure.

Have you tried talking to them about how you feel?

If you ever need me then my pm box is open

Take care

Stacey..x

LabTechMK · 19-08-2008, 03:17 PM

I talk to them about it, yeah. And when I do, they do seem to come down to my level and become concerned for the moment. When the conversation ends though, I normally press on to find that they went and did it again right after.

I almost think that perhaps it is my words sometimes that bring it on.

~MK

LabTechMK · 19-08-2008, 04:01 PM

I know that I would, I'm just saying that the urges have become stronger as of late thanks in part to the influence of my friends.

Thank you for your words.

~MK

LabTechMK · 19-08-2008, 04:29 PM

I talk to them as much as I can, so long as I don't think it will trigger them.

I'm rather homeless actually, and they are the only friends I have, little bits on the internet aside. I am sure that I can find some sort of distraction, I normally do, but it's just not the same.

~MK

Damnation. · 19-08-2008, 07:10 PM

Sweetheart, you know it's not worth it going back down that path, and I'm sorry if I've ever said anything that's triggered you.

I know you care for us, and worry about us, and we care and worry about you, too. But right now, I think you need to try and take a step back from the rest of us - and worry about yourself. Perhaps you should steer away from our threads for now? Yes, we're both not exactly happy at the moment, but you don't need to unnecessarily worry and stress yourself out over stupid little things we've said in moments of madness.

I know I said some **** in R&V last night that hurt you, but I am in a better place now. I'm not going to leave you, In any way, shape, or form.

I love you, okay? Just please, take care. Fight the urges, 'cause we can beat them together <3

LabTechMK · 19-08-2008, 08:24 PM

Thank you. I really, really needed that. *hugs*

I'll try to steer away for now, but don't think for a moment that gets you off the hook. I'm not leaving your side for a moment.

~MK