Triggering (Suicide) - A bit confused - Getting help.
Okays, so i'm completely at my wits end here. I have almost given up. I don't see any reason to live anymore, i'm so so depressed.
I used to be in therapy. But I only had 7 or 8 sessions in which I really didn't tell them much. I had to leave when I turned 18 'cause it was an adolescent therapy thing. And they had decided I was better, nothing I said could really change their opinion.
So not long ago I went to my GP (Which i've already posted about. Sorry.) She wasn't entirely convinced I was depressed, and said there was nothing she could do, because i'm classed as an adult now, I have to refer myself if I want help. She gave me a leaflet on some group therapy stuff, classes and things, but it looks way intimidating, and not exactly what I was looking for.
Which leave me a bit confused. To anyone that's over 18, did your GP give you help? How did you get in contact with your therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist?
I'm scared. I want to die.. but i'm scared of it. So maybe I don't want to die? Either way, I thought I might try getting help one more time...
But if i still believe you love me, maybe i'll survive.
So i tell myself you're coming home, like you've done a million times.
im so sorry you are feeling so bad right now. your GP doesnt sound very helpfull at all. i would try seeing a different one, even just at the same surgery. i was referred to my pysch (on the nhs) through a+e. i went in to get stiches on a SI cut. and they asked if i wanted to see anyone from the mental health unit thingymebob. i couldnt see them as they were too busy, but i got referred to a pyschiatrist through them, i think my doctor may have been involved, as in a+e people told him etc, i didnt say anything about the pysch to him, he knew about self harm etc though. it was at the pyschs i got diagnosed as bipolar. and now i have a pysch and a mental health nurse, mind you my new pysch is not very helpful.
anyways rambaling there, thats how i got refered to my mental health team. i think you could try going to a+e and asking to see a mental health person, explain how you are feeling, "I'm scared. I want to die.. but i'm scared of it." even write that down, so you dont have to speak.
i've never been to a+e because of being suicidal, but i know people do and have.
i hope this has helped some. your doctor sounds really unhelpfull and i would seriously try another doctor or a+e, as you deserve to get help.
best of luck, keep updating! xxx
maybe you could try and speak to another doctor at the surgery? My doctor was really helpful and referred me to counselling at the surgery, and also to a psych at the hospital, so there are some good docs out there. Keep asking for help if you think you need it
It can be so hard to get help. And I know what you mean about those things sounding intimidating.
Some ways to get help:
Try a different doctor. Some will be more helpful and understanding than others.
Contact mental health services in your area (google your city and the words mental health) and ask them for a referral.
Mental health phone lines can often point you in the right direction as well
Contact a therapist/psychologist on your own. This is what I did. I have set up my own appointment for an assessment. To do this you can often find a list of counselors and psychologists in your area (again google), many will have websites and such. Check them out, find one that sounds right for you, and send them an email or give them a phone call. Making that first phone call for me was REALLY hard, but I feel a lot better knowing I'm taking the right steps to make my life better.
PM me if you need help trying to find services in your area and I will do what I can.
