Intensive suicidal thoughts, nowhere to turn.

[cough cough]

I haven't any flight in me no more. Life is looking bleak. I try and distract myself mentally but I find myself thinking about suicide. I'm not depressed. I'm involved with the crisis team and they are visiting me often but I can't tell them I'm having these really intensive thoughts for fear they will admit me in hospital again. I Put on a happy face with them. I only got out last week. Life is bleak.

[SoDark]

It is important to communicate with your providers but if that is hard can you think of things that help you when you are down or help you to stay out of the hospital? Some suggestions: exercise or go for a walk, spend time with animals. art, music, favorite tv shows, video games, reading a good book, visiting a peaceful place. Some of my hobbies have saved me many times.

[Ballerina123]

I think you should tell the crisis team.
It could save your life.
Hugs. Sorry things are so hard right now x

[nowhereman]

You have somewhere to turn. They may admit you again but only for your own safety and good.

I've had the same problem since last year. My doctor just said I shouldn't do it and it was never mentioned again, and my best friend got really mad at me and then never mentioned it again either.

How long has it been going on for you? Did you mention it at all while in there, or did it only start since you left?

If the crisis team are checking on you they must know you're not 100% right now. You don't have to put on a happy face for them, it's their job to help you with your mental health, which they can't do if they don't know. If it was a physical illness you wouldn't hide symptoms. I know people react differently when it's mental health, but they work in it so should be able to help.

Why do you feel you need to hide it? How long were you in hospital? I'm sure they would understand and try to arrange help outside of hospital, if they know you don't want to go back. There could be other help options.

Btw, sorry for asking questions, just trying to understand in case I think of anything helpful, but also don't feel you have to answer or say anything you're not comfortable with. The important thing is to try and be honest with your medical team.

Good luck, and please let me know if you learn anything helpful in dealing with this. I mean, if you get a chance, don't worry if not.

You're not alone, if that's any comfort. Probably not since you don't even know me, but saying it anyway. Take care and don't be afraid to go to a&e if you feel critical (says the biggest hypocrite ever)

[OverEmotional]

I feel you, hang in there!
Firstly I would say tell the crisis team, thats what they are there for :)
Secondly I would ask myself why it is I want to die and if I thought I could create my dream life would I still want to die? Or is it down to my current circumstances that cause me to feel this way?
I have not started treatment yet so these are the questions I ask myself to try and curb my thinking and maybe day dream about the life that could be...its better than the alternative! As the great Tupac Amaru Shakur once said "Hold on, Be Strong" <3