Contains illicit drugs - Really hit rock bottom

[dbus-daemon]

I really have hit rock bottom now. I promised myself I would never inject - I would always smoke the stuff. Now it's 1 a.m. and I have track marks and a nice bruise. And a feeling of terror and guilt mixed with shame. Terror because I might die of organ failure (and not the Hammond type either), guilt because I promised my best mate I wouldn't ever shoot up and shame because I fell off the wagon and I'm now a smackhead junkie.

I've been under so much stress with being abused by my so-called "boyfriend", the death of my best mate and my brother being hospitalised (ironically as a result of a drug overdose). I need to escape the constant anxiety, pain and fear but in my attempts to do so have scared and agitated myself more than ever.

I can't get hold of any sedatives ironically which really hasn't helped matters either, as I could take a few of them and end up mellowed up and extremely sleepy so I wouldn't notice the chaos around me as I'd be asleep.

[dbus-daemon]

Been off it for 1 day so far, doing better than I thought.

[MissWay]

**hugs** you are so much stronger than you realize, daemon. We're here for you <3

[dbus-daemon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissWay

**hugs** you are so much stronger than you realize, daemon. We're here for you <3

It's ridiculous that I'm a slave to the cremated remains of a poppy.

[dbus-daemon]

Well that went well. 36 hours and I've had a relapse again.Oh well tomorrow's another day.

[dbus-daemon]

I had another relapse. I can't feel anything but emotionally I feel guilty and scared (about the damage I am doing to my organs). I keep making promises to myself and end up breaking them. It's impossible to avoid the drug in question as I live on a council estate where practically everyone is on the stuff, including two mates of mine.