Can you ask for a referral to a dietician? They would be able to help you figure out what is the correct amount.
Also, if you're unsure what your mum means when she says things like that, maybe you could ask her to explain?
I think there's definitely grey area between healthy and unhealthy personally. You can be eating enough calorie wise but not getting the correct amounts of vitamins and minerals you need for example. Or you can not be eating enough while eating super clean and "healthy", and that's still not going to change the fact that you're restricting and not getting all the right vitamins and minerals either. So I don't think it's super black and white. But also what is healthy for one human isn't going to be the same for another. We all have different bodies and different needs.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I don't think you're being rude. But I would also question if you do actually know how to eat healthy, because it sounds as though even when you think you do, others are telling you it isn't healthy.
Also, dietitians don't just tell you what to eat. They try to help you figure out ways to make it possible.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Yeah, that can be tricky. I guess there's a couple of things to think about here:
1) EDs skew perception, and so we are literally incapable of correctly evaluating body size of ourselves or others. There's probably some people on TV who you think are smaller than you but they actually aren't!
2) some of those people may be ill or at the very least on a stupid diet where they don't get enjoy tasty things
3) some of those people may actually have a healthy, happy relationship with food but just have a small build. It's problematic but some people's 'natural' healthy weight is lower than others'. So actually yeah, I guess a bit of jealousy makes sense there, but know that they would probably be jealous of something about you too (my guess is your hair, it's awesome!).
I hope that makes sense and maybe provides some food for thought. Pun not intended but clearly not regretted since I seem to have left it there...
Hey, I am glad your sister is going to give it a go. Remember that this is her process and while it's amazing that you're supportive it is not your responsibility it is hers.
With eating more and being more hungry, I certainly found that. I remember about three months in to my ED recovery being suddenly absolutely starving all the time. I think it's your body realising that you're giving it more and wanting to make sure you carry on!
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
My mum is worried about me exercising, she says I don't eat enough. Even something little like a walk. She pointed out that I don't even like exercise. Which is true. I pointed out that Naomi eats less and exercises more than me, and Mum said it was because Naomi gets agitated. I tried rational discussion but I don't want to spoil my relationship with her. I think she's worried about me ending up like my sister.
Last edited by tamobhuuta : 15-11-2021 at 02:32 PM.
Reason: Add a bit
Do you think there might be a bit of competition between your sister and you? It's probably subconscious but EDs make people do things that are very out of character. (I did many out of character things, including exercise that I hate - especially when I was first surrounded by other EDs)
*everyone* needs to eat enough for the exercise they do, and for you, that amount depends on your needs, not your sister.
Last edited by Elmer : 15-11-2021 at 08:24 PM.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
Mum reminded me that a few years ago I was eating more, I had more energy and my symptoms were really good. Maybe she has a point. But eating more is scarey.
Also, there's something about my sister I don't understand.She'll try to go and make herself sick, even though she knows Mum will insist she eat again afterwards. Does anyone here.do that?
Mum reminded me that a few years ago I was eating more, I had more energy and my symptoms were really good. Maybe she has a point. But eating more is scarey.
It does make sense that your energy and symptoms would be better when you're well-nourished. I know it's a scary concept, but maybe it's something to keep in mind as something to aim for.
How are things going? Are you able to ask your sister why she purges when she's knows your mum will get her to eat more after? I wonder if it's an 'in the moment' compulsion and she doesn't really think about what will happen after.
I feel really upset. Mum just had a major go at me because I'm not eating enough and I'm making my sister's ED worse and if I don't eat more she'll want me to have fortisips. I feel so awful, I'm doing my best.
