It's been a few days since you have posted. How are you doing now? There is no shame taking some time off if you need it, Illness isn't always physical and thats okay.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Hi,
I'm doing better. I've had a cold this week so took time off and felt genuine about it so that's ok. I was able to rest and do some study whilst I was off.
I've also agreed some study time with my boss so I will be having a couple of days off to get on with my work. I'm arranging to go and stay with my uncle who will be able to help me as he lectures on the subject.
going away will also help as I won't have the distractions of housework, childcare etc to worry about.
Saying all of that I am thinking of SH more and more at the moment and I can't identify why, I think because I'm stressing about the course and the work I have to do. If I could just get one with it some more and make some progress I will feel better about everything I'm sure.
Regards
Liz
Hi,
I finished my course and got my Post Graduate Diploma. So pleased that it's finally finished, that was a huge weight off my mind.
I'm 25 weeks pregnant and wish baby would hurry up and grow. Fed up of being pregnant and not looking forward to the last trimester. If it's anything like last time I lived with heartburn for the whole 3 months and didn't want to eat. It's started already and I'm not even in the last 3 months quite yet.
I'm feeling low today and can't seem to shake it off, had a few days like this during the last few months but it seems to have been nearly week that I've been feeling sad and depressed. Really struggled through my day yesterday pretending to be happy at my Gran's 90th birthday party when all I wanted to so was curl up in the corner and hide. Working in an office on my own today so it's really quiet with no one around. It's nice but hard as I've not really had any focus. Nearly fell asleep at my desk earlier. I'm really tired.
Anyway, not sure why I'm bothering to post, probably just to write how I'm feeling and get it off my chest a little.
God bless to you all.
Liz
Thanks. Made time for me last night and had a relaxing bath and went to bed early.
Had time to think on the bus this morning, which was not a good idea. Ended up in tears. Text husband who did give me a call and reassure me that everything would be ok.
Now in work pretending to be busy and get on with things. In reality I'm going through the motions, not sure how much will get done today but at least I'm here for people to ask questions should anything arise and I'm here for the one boring meeting that's in my diary.
Slowing reaching out for the support I think I'm going to need. Think maybe my mental health isn't as strong as I thought and I'll be needing more people around me when baby arrives than I expected. Thankfully 2 sets of Grandparents live nearby and are both retired so will be there when needed.
Trying to remind myself that I don't have to cope alone and I'm not expected to.
God bless
Liz
Hi,
Feeling better this week. Talked a lot with husband last week and discussed some of my fears and worries. I think it helped get it off my chest, although we haven't come up with any solutions.
I think I was maybe tired last week too, I slept for 10 hours last night, unbelievable. I haven't slept for that long in ages. Husband even got up to our daughter because I didn't move. Mind you, he respond quicker to her than I do. Although his solution is to bring her in bed with us which isn't going to work once second baby's here. Think I need to raise this with him.
Here's hoping I continue to feel good and have a positive week.
God bless all.
Liz
Well the rest of the week went ok. We had a lovely time on Saturday, we took our 2 year old daughter to the Aquarium. She seemed to enjoy herself and I appreciated the quality time with the family.
I spent the day at home with her yesterday as she was poorly. I ended up falling asleep in the afternoon whilst she entertained herself reading. I do wonder how on earth I'm ever going to manage the rest of this pregnancy and then looking after 2 children under 3?
Any advice greatly appreciated.
Feeling rubbish today, ready to cry at the slightest trigger. Feel like I got out of bed on the wrong side and should just go back to sleep and maybe try again in a few hours time. Would be nice if I cold do this but I've managed to drag myself into work so I'll just sit here at my desk and pray nothing upsets me.
Hope that thoughts of SH will subside and leave me for the rest of the day. I hope I find plenty to do and keep myself occupied for the day. Especially this afternoon when I'm covering reception.
Liz
So I had a melt down yesterday. I over did it at the weekend and was very tired so let everything get on top of me.
I did well in managing things and wrote how I was feeling down rather than act upon any of the things going around in my head. Doesn't mean they are not still there but at least I have avoided them for the time being.
Really concerned about how I will cope with 2 under 3 year olds when little one finally gets here.
I'm fed up of being pregnant and feel like I won't be able to bond with little one when he/she arrives. I just don't have the energy at the moment.
I'd really like to run away and hide from all my responsibilities. I can't run away from my pregnancy though, that goes with me wherever I go.
I'd like to curl up in a ball and not get out of bed, but I can't do that either as I have a job to come to and a family to support.
I'd like to give up on everything but can't because I don't want to hurt those around me.
I'd like to SH but I don't want to loose the fight, I'm nearly 4 years free and I'm not letting that go.
I just want to give up fighting and take a break for a while.
Liz
Last edited by squiggles : 12-04-2016 at 02:51 PM.
Reason: Additional Info
Well I've had eventful weekend.
Over did it again on Saturday and had a small bleed which meant a trip to hospital at 12midnight on Saturday to get checked out. Thankfully everything is ok and baby is fine but it was a worrying time for me.
Husband was amazing though and very calm about the whole situation.
Had a nap on Saturday afternoon and again on Sunday, think that might become routine for the next few weeks. I feel guilty about leaving husband to look after our 2 yr old but I just don't have the energy.
Emotionally feeling better than I was, although still concerned about how I'm going to manage.
Best wishes to you all.
Liz
Don't feel guilty about napping. You're growing another human being and that is a full time job in itself, much less adding in the needed care of a 2 year old. Naps will help with energy and just making you feel a little better over all. And think of it as a way for your 2 year old and hubby to have a little bit of bonding time just the two of them. Win, win! I'm glad you're doing a bit better emotionally.
Best wishes to you Liz <3
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."
Hi Thanks for the reply,
Not been on for a while as I've bee busy and never find time to access RYL at home. At work today but would much rather be at home.
I know it's good bonding time between husband and 2 yr old but he actually does a lot of the care giving as he works part time and drops off / picks up from nursery every day. He looks after her more than I do during the week which is why I feel guilty when I'm not able to offer my support at weekends when I'm tired.
Anyway, last week at work for me today and then I'll have her all to myself most days as we're reducing her nursery attendance when I'm on maternity leave.
I was feeling low this morning but I seem to be a bit better now, not sure what's perked me up but at least I'm not so close to tears now. Just wanted to cry when I left home this morning.
Hoping for a short day at work today, finishing at 3pm if at all possible.
Best wishes to everyone.
Liz
Well, it's been over a year since I last posted, what an eventful year it has been.
I now have 2 beautiful daughters, Sara is 1 and Hannah 3. They are amazing and a joy to be with. Sadly I have to work 4 days per week so don't get as much time with them as I would like.
Fed up today as I am bored at work. It's so quiet and I have so little to do that I am browsing the internet about 75% of my day. I might say something to the boss on Friday but I don't think it will make much difference.
I'm going to be major busy 1 week per month when I do payroll which I have taken on since I came back from maternity leave. Other than that I have no idea how I'm going to keep myself occupied.
I've been job hunting so maybe something will come up, I've an interview tomorrow so we'll have to see how that goes.
Anyway, came to update everyone and feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, rather than just checking facebook every 5 minutes.
I realize that this is such a long thread, but it looks like you have accomplished a lot. I understand that work may seem stressfilled- but do you want to work less hours or have more responsibility to be occupied and less bored?
Maybe you can discuss your options with your family, and if you only need to really be in the office for 1 week/ month, you can work out something with your boss that is more task oriented than time oriented?
Are the new jobs you are looking at more demanding or less demanding?
It is hard finding the right balance for childcare and paid work, but I hope that it works out for you.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
Did't speak to the boss on Friday. He was too busy with other stuff so I didn't bother for now. Also decided to wait until I know the outcome of the interview, as it might change things if I decide to take the new job.
I'd love to reduce hours but I can't afford to as my wage pays most of the household bills. Could take a bit of a cut but not a whole day and because I work 1hrs drive away from home it's not worth doing a half day.
The jobs I have interviewed for I think would keep my busy all day long, at least for 6 months or so whilst I settle into the job.
Thanks for the support, it really means a lot to know there are others out there who are willing to listen.
So I didn't get the job. I didn't get another one I had an interview for either. Waiting again for the outcome of an interview on Friday. I'm desperately trying to move out of this boring draining job. I pray God open a door for me or I might just loose my mind!
I did speak to my boss about how little I had to do. He didn't really have any solutions. He didn't want to give me anything more until I get to grips with Payroll, had 2 months training and next month I will be going solo as the current person leaves next week.
He had a few suggestions but they are tedious and not actually that time consuming, who wants to review mobile phone bills or be in charge of liaising with the IT providers. Not things that interest me at all and definitely not going to take up much time. Would probably just cause me yet more frustration.
I need a new job. Fed up and bored.
I cry driving home nearly everyday as I hate this place so much. I'm thinking of SH regularly, thankfully I'm fairly secure in my recovery but if I weren't this would have been enough to throw me over the edge. I thought about going to buy blades today, that's how bad I'm feeling.
*sigh*
Anyway, should go do some proper work I guess. Get ready to give a quick training on "Dignity at Work".
God bless whoever reads this.
*Crying* Didn't get the job.
Slowing losing hope of being able to move forwards. I can't seem to move out of this place and I've had enough of it.
I'm just going to sit here and cry for the last hour of my day. There is no one else in the office so it doesn't matter.
Aw hun, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like your boss doesn't appreciate what you're doing - who wants their employees to just sit around?! I know job hunting can be draining but don't give up, you'll find something :)
Thanks for your support. My boss is good, it's just a case of there isn't actually much more work I can do. He's suggested some thing for me to take on but non of them are that interesting or will occupy much of my time.
I'm going to think about reducing my hours so that I can get the balance I want between family and work.
I do however have another interview, details are to be confirmed.
It will all work out in the end for good I'm sure.
