You know that cutting won't help in the long term. It might help in the short term, but when you have done it, the exams and revision will still be there, only you'll just have a cut to tend to etc.
Also, if revision is stressing you, make sure you take plenty of breaks in between! And remember that you can only do your best and no exam is worth cutting yourself over. You're worth way more than that You're a lovely wonderful person and you are working really hard to get through this exam period. Keep going, and try not to stress too much.
I was like this in the week leading up to my exam at the beginning of the week. As the exam time got nearer, I found that I was able to try concentrate on work for maybe half an hour at a time, and just tried my best. I don't know how you work? But for me, when I know I 100% have no time left for avoiding revision, I somehow find a switch in my brain that turns on and says, right let's go! Do you think you'll be able to try set aside half an hour at a time to do a little bit? Even just reading through your lectures would be helpful. It's surprising how much we can remember from a quick skim read of a lecture slide or two, y'know?
*cuddles you lots and makes you tea*
Last edited by Pops. : 15-05-2011 at 05:01 PM.
Reason: bad grammar!
I can relate to thinking of self harm even when things are okay, such as in the mornings as you described. For me, I believe it is because I became addicted to self harm and it became a massive part of my life. So even if things are ok - it can still be there at times. The main thing to remember is that at these times, you don't need to self harm. I'm sure in time as you begin to recover and go through that journey the 'random' thoughts of self harm will lessen.
You are absolutely right that self harming will not help you. I hope you can hold on to that knowledge.
I am where you are right now with some major tests too. I cut before one of them, and managed not to before the other. I don't know if it helps any, but I certainly felt prouder the morning after I didn't stop my stress with cutting. And, of course, when I did cut, the stress and anxiety didn't really go away - I still had to finish studying (admittedly with less time).
I don't think I can really say anything more than what's already been said, just that there is FAR more to you than one grade and that, no matter what happens on the test you can make things work.
Stay Safe,
Rynn
Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence
~Scroobius Pip
All you'll accomplish by cutting is to give yourself more stress to deal with, and less time to do that in. If you're having trouble getting organized, just do something. Anything! Sit down and write a rant about whatever is on your mind, even if it degenerates to "well, exams suck and I'm tired of this ****." Once it's out there, then you can turn to doing something about it.
Would it help you to tidy your thoughts? Maybe you could make a to-do list. That will help you evaluate your workload, and start making calmer, more rational decisions.
Louise, I think you are right. I only have a week left to revise for 3 exams which is scary, but I need to flick that switch and do something. Any revision is better than none I guess.
Tig & Rynn, thank you for your kind words and advice.
Hemlock - I've ranted occasionally in the past on R/V board, but lately I can't seem to? Its like I get there and words leave my mind and I can't type anything! A to-do list or some kind of plan is probably a good idea.
I'm really really trying to stay away from cutting this time as the thoughts in my head are that, if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it "properly" i.e. severely. And I really don't need anyone finding out about it right now. Burning is "safer" for me, but less satisfying. And still won't solve anything.
My counselor told me that writing in your journal works. Every time. Write down everything, how you are feeling, your thoughts, ect. It only works if you are willing to try! You can do it!
Try to make a schedule or plan your time...youŽll feel better when u see u got more time even to relax...probably u r feeling anxious...cutting yourself will make you relax but for a short period of time, but then you will feel guilty and anxious and having less time to study..try to relax and every time u feel bad post your feeling here!
Sometimes, when I get into that mindset, doing anything is enough to make the burden of work seem more attainable. Even if all I do is write a list of everything, and throw it away later.
Yes, thank you everyone.
I did do some work yesterday and I do feel better for it.
Often I use cutting as a way to give myself a kick up the backside and push me to do something, so its been hard to motivate myself without that push, but I'm trying.
Yes, thank you everyone.
I did do some work yesterday and I do feel better for it.
Often I use cutting as a way to give myself a kick up the backside and push me to do something, so its been hard to motivate myself without that push, but I'm trying.
Have you ever tried writing a list about the positive things about yourself and why you want to do something? Like, your advantages? And the qualities you have to get you through it? I've never tried it myself, but it's worth a try.
Speaking about the positive things about yourself, you really helped me a lot a few weeks ago when I first went on this website! Your words to me were so wise and understanding. Maybe you can pretend you're one of the people you so often reach out to help on here, and say all those smart, good things to yourself. Treat yourself as kindly as you treat those people, really! i hope the day went ok for you.
I find that when I have to revise for something (which is stressful) I use an incentive. For example I love reading when I'm not doing something. So I Think I'll do 45 mins of note taking revision and then treat myself to reading as a reward like thing. And then afterwards I'll go back to revising.
Also sticking post it notes with revision notes is my 'fun' way of revising.
Thank you all so much.
I'm still doing ok and still haven't harmed.
The thoughts are gradually going away except when I'm very tired so thats good. Admittedly I'm still not doing as much revision as I should, but I'm doing as much as I can without going into panic mode.
Wonderingmom thank you for taking the time to reply.
I hope you and your daughter are doing ok.
Rach.... RYL is my reward at the moment! Trying to set myself time limits of half and hour RYL, an hour work etc.
I find it hard to think of positive things about myself sometimes. But taking time out from revision to walk my dogs and things seems to be helping.
Thank you all so much.
Hey. If you want some positive things to remember about yourself, just come here and read this. You've managed to stick to your decision not to harm. That's major. You've made progress on revising. You've been out, taking care of things, walking dogs, making the day to day work. And not harming. There's a starter list for you. ;)
Even your reward you've set up for yourself is what? Coming here to post and talk to people, and offer support. Man, talk about can't see the forest for the trees. You're doing awesome. Hang in there.
