i honestly, want to believe i will never do it again, but lately i have hadd that want, not need, want, to revert back to the old days. it's been almost a year since the last time i hurt myself, i just can't tell for sure. it kinda hurts a part of me to say "never again" ya know? its like another girl in me would die if i took that option away from her. i have been going through a rough time lately and have thought about it, but not acted on it yet. it seems that when i dont forget to take my medication, i am more logical, and don't think aobut it, its just not an option. but if i forget to take my medication i get upset and reaslly want it. sometimes it really irritates me because i almost feel as if the med's are supressing a large chunk of my personality and being. but then again, i remember how miserable i was and how disgusting i felt all the time. but whats the use if i still feel that way sometimes. idk.. someone send me a message, im totally confused.. uuuuggghhhhh
emz
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