First, I'm so sorry that this horrible, intrusive, traumatic thing happened to you. I also know how difficult it can be to make sense of what happened to you--to define it for yourself.
But second, as to the definition: there's a difference between a legal definition of rape, which can vary in cultures, regions, etc, and rape not-as-defined-by-the-law. There are probably different opinions on this, but many definitions of rape hinge on there being 'sexual penetration.' By that criteria, penetration of the vagina or anus, whether with an object, a finger, or whatever, is rape. Personally, I would consider what you described rape.
But--beyond legal, criminal, official or unofficial definitions, what my therapist says, is that the most important thing is how you define it for yourself. How did you experience it? How do you feel about it? The meaning *you* put on it is ultimately much more important than whatever anybody else says. Because you're the one it happened to, and you're the one who has to make sense of it, and you're the one who was there. You're your own best witness
Good luck, and please take care of yourself as you deal with this stuff. I know it's incredibly difficult.
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