well... for years i've always had thoughts about commiting suicide and i would always keep it to myself until last year i mentioned it to a teacher who i trust very deeply and see braught me to the guidance counseler who braught my parents in to talk with me. in all honesty i wasn't ready for that but i guess it had to happen...
for some reason my thoughts of suicide have been coming to me alot more often... and my home life with my family is going to hell because of how i am doing in school or how i act and stuff. sometimes ill sit in my room and think about going down to the kitchen and taking my whole bottle of anti depressent medicine to hopefully kill myself (which by the way the medicine isnt doing ****).
but afew nights ago i had the pills in my room and i had a deep mind set of doing it but for some reason i just pulled out a pointed rock w/ a semi sharp tip and i started to cut the upper part of my leg, the pain of it dragging on the skin completly distracted me from wanting to kill myself, now ive been cutting myself when i start to think bout killing myself, but i dont know if its the right thing for me to be doing... in all honestly i think afew scars is better then dieing but idk what to do anymore. i need some advice :\ now that its become sort of a habit for me i moved up to a razor blade because the pain of the cutting is what is helping me from not killing myself....
Yeah, I think it can stop people from committing suicide. Though I don't know how to put it into words how it does so. Sorry. xo.
yea, idk how to really put it into words either... all i can say it it like distracts me which helps alooot. but idk if there are better choices i could make
I've said this before many times to people, and I'm sure it won't be the last, but my first counsellor said to me;
"I'd never ask you to stop cutting, because if I did you might kill yourself"
It's not that I wanted to take my life everytime I cut, I'm sure it's not for many others, but cutting was letting off "the pressure" in my mind for me (the release), if I'd stopped cutting the pressure might have built to the point where I did take my life.
So yes it's almost an escape, but not everyones motive is suicide, it's just pacing "the pressure" so it doesnt get to that point.
I am NOT encouraging or condoning that cutting is the way or a good reason or a healthy release, just wanted clear that up incase.
I started cutting as an alternative to suicide. It was like I could still hurt (because I WAS hurting emotionally) but it was more tangible, and therefore easier to deal with. It didn't solve my problems or anything, but it kept me alive in some really tough moments. Of course, later on cutting proved to be detrimental on its own, but initially this wasn't the case.
Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside "Ups and Downs" ~ Kendall Payne
I dont cut as an alternative to suicide. I still get the "relief of pressure" though, so I know why people do
"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
i never thought that i was doing it to prevent me from suicide but after a few sessions with my counsellor she told me that she wouldnt tell me to stop because if it hadn't been for the cutting, i wouldn't be here as it was the only way i was gaining a little control in my life (in a really twisted way!)
i never thought that i was doing it to prevent me from suicide but after a few sessions with my counsellor she told me that she wouldnt tell me to stop because if it hadn't been for the cutting, i wouldn't be here as it was the only way i was gaining a little control in my life (in a really twisted way!)
x
yea, even tho i just started thats kinda how i feel :\
In a roundabout way I do think it is an alternative to suicide. I bottle everything up and I have so much s**t inside me that sometimes the only way to release it and get a bit of relief is to cut. It's the same with drug abuse. I know that SH and drugs are not at all a good idea and could get me in an even worse situation but the way I see it, they are keeping me alive.
im with u banana on the drug abuse thang. i know the sh, drugs, alcohol etc aren't good for me but sometimes it's all i have. detrimental though it maybe in the long run, the short run is what is problematic and so one day at a time keeps ringing in my head.
For me it was in the beginning. When I first started cutting I remember I wanted to die badly but I never had enough courage to try anything too dangerous and my friends had talked about cutting so I tried it and got relief from it. Like other it made things in my life easier to deal with and the feelings of wanting to die faded.
Forget the risk and take the fall if it's what you want it's worth it all
When lifes pressures get too much, we cope with them by doing whatever people do. In our situation (well, a lot of people who self harm), we cut. And it evens the scales out a tad.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
if you look at the stats on suicide and self harm, you'll find self harm is supposedly more common in women than men, but suicide is more common in men. Arguably, this demonstrates different responses to stress, and men having a higher tendency to "bottle it up" leading to their emotional releases being more extreme but more infrequent than in women.
So yeah, in some people SI might keep suicidal feelings at bay, but it still isn't healthy, the trick is to have some form of release that kicks in sooner so that it doesn't get to the stage of causing harm to yourself.
Random radio ___________This spiral
Static on tv ____________Has worn a groove so deep
Losing count of _________Can’t climb out
All the days and weeks ___Pathetic, painful need
i cut to keep myself alive, so i can deal with my issues( not very well, i admit) but it keeps me in control. so yeh i suppose it does keep me from suicide cos i get the bad stuff out my head and on to my skin
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
I definately think it is a release from suicide... when I cut I feel so much better that it takes my mind off of killing myself. I dont think every SI-er does that but it works to keep ME alive...
When I'm sane I figure that being hurt is better than being dead, 'cause when your dead you cant do a whole lot to help anyone else, but even if your hurt you can still help someone...which is the whole point of life.
I've said this before many times to people, and I'm sure it won't be the last, but my first counsellor said to me;
"I'd never ask you to stop cutting, because if I did you might kill yourself"
It's not that I wanted to take my life everytime I cut, I'm sure it's not for many others, but cutting was letting off "the pressure" in my mind for me (the release), if I'd stopped cutting the pressure might have built to the point where I did take my life.
So yes it's almost an escape, but not everyones motive is suicide, it's just pacing "the pressure" so it doesnt get to that point.
I am NOT encouraging or condoning that cutting is the way or a good reason or a healthy release, just wanted clear that up incase.
this is exactly what I was going to say.
I'm not suicidal every time I self-harm, but when I feel suicidal I often end up cutting because it keeps me from doing worse.
& I have this quote written down, though I don't remember where it's from:
"There is no hazy line. If I'm suicidal I want to die, I have lost hope. When I'm self-injuring, I want to relieve the emotional pain and keep on living. Suicide is a permanent exit. Self-injury gets me through the moment."
For some people...I guess. Idk depends on my state. That's just me, though.....
Let's put a smile on that face
We are not alone
Find out when your cover's blown
There'll be somebody there to break your fall
We are not alone
'Cause when you cut down to the bone
We're really not so different after all
if you look at the stats on suicide and self harm, you'll find self harm is supposedly more common in women than men, but suicide is more common in men. Arguably, this demonstrates different responses to stress, and men having a higher tendency to "bottle it up" leading to their emotional releases being more extreme but more infrequent than in women.
So yeah, in some people SI might keep suicidal feelings at bay, but it still isn't healthy, the trick is to have some form of release that kicks in sooner so that it doesn't get to the stage of causing harm to yourself.
yea, (im a guy) i kept everything bottled up for years and there have been countless times over those years when i have been on a tight string to killing myself that second, i just cant take it sometimes but somehow i hold it together. now that i started cutting the get my mind off of it its literally turning into a daily thing like i cut literally 1-2 times a day and ontop of that the pain im actually getting used to so i do it more which i think is turning me into a Masochist because i enjoy the pain now. everything is just so confusing....
![[Fog]'s Avatar](images/avatars/12 - Copy.gif)
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
