Everything was too much. My head wouldn't stop shouting at me and pictures were flashing and I couldn't cope with it so I gave in and took a large overdose on Thursday. Friday, the ward staff found out and I spent 20 hours on an antidote drip. I have never been in hospital for an OD before.
The whole time I have been in hospital my psych told me if I self harmed then he would discharge me without meds or community help. I didn't cut, I self harmed another way but only minorly until Thursday. Today in ward round he discharged me because of the OD. I know it was my fault, my decision, screw up, whatever but now I am home alone with no meds or anything. My uni co-ordinator Sarah negotiated me having a CPN and I will still see her since technically she is part of the uni but I am not allowed to keep my current CPN because my case is too 'complex'. I feel like I am being punished. I tried, I really did but now they have given up and I don't know what to do.
I have NONE of my medication and no support apart from the crisis team and my CPN whenever that gets sorted. I just feel so horribly alone
You got kicked out of the hospital because you OD'd cause you feel so bad. That sounds ineffecient and ineffective. That is intolerable!
No answers sweetie, but always *hugs*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
Oh Emma, hun. To me that sounds utterly ridiculous to discharge someone with no meds or support. Re meds, I read on your other thread that you have switched to Venlafaxine, perhaps you could get an appt at your gp as it can be quite horrible going through withdrawal even when tapered and also your gp can put you on your other meds also and provide support in the meantime. Your gp should also complain on your behalf. Keep posting.
*hugs*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
This is so ridiculous ooh it makes me so angry inside! How dare they do that to someone in need, how dare they! I am literally sitting here boiling because of it
As no reason said, go to your GP and get them to support a complaint! Sounds like the person who discharged you is incompetent at their job, and needs a thorough talking to just in case they do it to others as well! I ended up ODing Saturday night and being held on a psych ward, yet they didn't pull all of my help. Instead they get someone to call me every evening to check I'm ok, and my appointments with the psychiatrist have been doubled to two times a week instead of one.
They should be offering you more help not less. I'm so sorry to hear about this, if there's anyway any of us can help just say!
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
I have calmed down a bit since writing that. The reason I was discharged because of the OD was because I had broken one of the 'rules' my psych set when I was admitted i.e no self harm. I don't understand the meds thing either but since the original post I made an emergency appointment with my GP and have also contacted PALS to make a complaint and get the meds thing looked into, someone is calling me back tomorrow. I saw my GP about an hour ago and he has given me meds until Friday and contacted the crisis team.
Really glad about your last post and your being referred to the crisis team- because it's appalling to discharge you with no support. (although sadly not unheard of.) Sounds like your GP is ok, and it's good you've got more meds because the last thing you need is withdrawl symptoms, and I know I got them if I skipped doses of Venlafaxine.
That's so ridiculous but sadly something not unheard of. I was in a similar situation once after self harming on the ward. I'm glad you got your meds sorted out. How do you feel to be back at home? Did being in there help at all?hope you can settle back at home and keep safe xxx
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
Oh Emma, I am glad to hear you've calmed down a bit and you deff seem to be being proactive and all that good stuff... I'm very proud of you.
Now if you'll just let me know where I have to go to kick this guys ass I'll buy a plane ticket and be on my way . I can't believe any of it... the rules he made seem totally stupid and unreasonable and no meds?!?! Yeah, how's that gonna help.
*massive hugs and much love*
Love you SO muchly Emma
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Glad to hear the ball is rolling or so to speak, I'm less angry now that I've had time to cool down and now that you've made the second post.
I just hope something comes out of all this, and your complaint is dealt with properly
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
I have calmed down a bit since writing that. The reason I was discharged because of the OD was because I had broken one of the 'rules' my psych set when I was admitted i.e no self harm. I don't understand the meds thing either but since the original post I made an emergency appointment with my GP and have also contacted PALS to make a complaint and get the meds thing looked into, someone is calling me back tomorrow. I saw my GP about an hour ago and he has given me meds until Friday and contacted the crisis team.
Well done on doing all this.
You're pysch is a dick.
I love you.
Talk to you soon!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
You aren't wasting space at all. I wish I had something useful or inspirational to say but I don't. You are NOT worthless. You are NOT a loser. Please make sure you call your gp or the crisis team if things are still this bad.
*hugs*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Oh stop it Em. You are none of those things you said! NONE! Soemone like that wouldn't have pm'd me becasue they cared. But you did! You are a wonderful person, you're just not well right now! I'm so worried about you!
YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS!!!!!
Don't make me bite you!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Losers are the ones who don't reach out, to help for for help.
You are awesome. Even if I don't know what to do, you have a hand up asking for help.
*loving hugs*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
Just sending you my love and warm wishes sweetheart. Wishing big hugs could take away all the pain and suffering. *hugs you tightly* Lots of love.
Kahlia
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Wish I could say or do something hun to make all this go away for you, but I can't, or I would have done it already. Like people said hun, losers are the people who don't ask for the help they need, and hun, you're screaming for it. You really are a wonderful person sweetheart, you really are. And, sweetheart, you are in NO way worthless. NO way hun.
Love you.
You know where I am if you want to talk sweetheart, ok?
xx
~Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~
Emma, Emma, Emma *hugs tight*
You're not a loser. We all love you and think you're lovely... and that's the truth. I for one am very proud of the way you are handling all this, taking the bull by the horns as it were and fighting for what you need.
*sigh* I really don't have much for you but I did want to tell you I love you muchly.
*massive cuddles* Take care luv
Ally
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
