Severely Triggering (ED) - Sorry for being a post whore...*UPDATED*
hey guys, im sorry for post again...
im not coping AT ALL and to top it off, my next appointment isnt until 14th of fecking may. thats three weeks away. and i have seen her for about 3 or 4 weeks already.
im struggling ever since the assessment the other day, i found it really hard to deal with, especially the height and weight part. she measured me smaller than i actually am and then my weight, well, argh.
but since then, i havent managed to eat. there is nothing i want. i dont have an appetite. i have had to call in sick because im feeling so damn ill. i dont know what to do. if i text my therapist, what do i say?? i dont know...
any suggestions??
and i know it was a stupid idea but for some reason i took over the recommended dose on laxatives and so i know thats going to make me feel even worse but i dont care...or may be i do, i dont know!
i really dont know what to do anymore. i have no energy left.
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
I'm new on this forum so sorry if I give bad advice. Maybe just try to at least eat a little something like fruit or low calorie snack. Is it possible for you to reschedule your appointment to an earlier time, if you really need it? Yeah and maybe don't take anymore laxitives you might OD (if that's even possible).
i have tried but i just cant eat...i dont really have anything 'safe' in my house right now. especially as my housemates just keep getting chocolate and stuff in...
i text my therapist saying :
hi M, ive been struggling ever since the appointment with A. i havent been able to eat since then and feel really low. would i be able to see you earlier than 14th may?
havent had a reply yet...really scared. i never do this. i havent ever done this before and im scared....
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
Good luck for half four, I hope she can bring your appointment forward.
Well done on having some juice, it's a good start when you're finding it hard to eat something solid. Could you maybe have a smoothie or something too, and build up from there?
she's going to call me again in the morning and i may get an appointment tomorrow depending on whether she finishes her 'on duty' stuff.
im meant to be training at the yard tomorrow but i dont think im going to make it. i feel bad, i havent ridden my horse...i have an exam in two weeks and i just...i dont know... nothing is making me want to eat. i cant do it...i want to but i just cant
i havent got anything in the house to make smoothies at the moment...all i have is pasta and noodles neither of which are my 'safe' foods or i feel able to prepare.
i dont know, maybe i should just go and sleep for a while.
thankyou to all you guys who have been supporting me though, i do appreciate it, even if it sounds like i dont.
x
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
my therapist called me again this morning, i still havent managed to eat and im finding it hard to stand the sight or smell of any food around me. She's bought my appointment forward to next thursday morning because she is off the beginning of next week. I've been told to call monday or tuesday to speak to one of the crisis team aswell.
she called me again this evening to check in and of course, nothing has changed apart from i actually went to the yard and worked all day instead of staying in bed. she reminded me of the agreement that we made this morning about me calling on monday or tuesday and yeah...thats it.
I'm quite scared. I dont have any appetite, i dont want anything...today i managed to work all day without even feeling tired or weak. its weird...so weird. i dont understand. im actually quite terrified of myself right now.
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
