I haven’t posted for a while. I’ve not really felt like I can… it’s not easy.
But the last few days have just sucked and I could really use a bit of support. I’ve been doing this online diploma and I’ve just had to email my tutor to say I can’t complete this unit – everything’s getting too much, I just don’t have time. And I feel like such a failure
I know something this small shouldn’t upset me this much. I’m just disgusted with myself
Also, the other day my mate set me up with this guy. I know she just wants me to be happy but I wasn’t interested, I only went along with it because I desperately wanted to be normal. But I couldn’t go through with it. As soon as I was alone with this guy and he tried to get a bit more intimate, I burst into tears and completely froze. I don’t know why I’m so terrified of people getting close to me. It was humiliating. I left his place but got lost walking home. I was a mess by the time I found my way.
I just feel like I fail at life and I’ve started cutting again after almost a month free. I don’t really know what I want from this post, and sorry it’s so whiny. I’d just like some indication that someone out there understands/sympathises. I don’t have anyone I can talk to
