I'm not quite sure how to put this without coming across as rude.
I've been a member of this website for over a year now. I've always lurked because I don't have much confidence to say much. I lost my password a couple of weeks ago and I thought I'd just leave it and not come back seeing as I rarely post outside of R&V forum. But today I've made an account because I fancied coming somewhere with people in the same-ish situation as me.
I just feel since I've joined this site has become less and less welcoming. I enter chat and I'll say say hello to a room full of people and I still will not get a reply. Whereas if somebody.. a regular goes into chat they automatically receieve welcoming messages. Which when seeing that makes me feel worse as if people will only bother with people who they've spoken to before.
It's not just chat. I think maybe I shouldn't type much more because I don't know how to word it and I'm sure this is coming across the wrong way.
I'm pretty sure there are alot of other people lurking around just like me.
And I know I could start in the Introductions and I also know it's also about me being so self-conscious. But I have spoken to other people who feel the same.
I'm sure if anybody reads this they'll feel like throwing rotten apples at me. But I'd just like to put across how unwelcome I/others can feel here at times.
I feel the exact same about chat, not quite so much on the forum. But basically it'll be the same in most any social situation...it's only normal. I just try and make myself fit in anyway even though i'm not really friends with anyone on here.
hi yeah i know what you mean. iv heard others say this to. but theres not much you can do about it except get to know people on here. most people feel more comfortable talking to people they know. and if people ignore you on chat, dont let it get to you, it could be that noones notaced are that there busy having a private conversation. its very rare to go into chat and have people ignore you once youv said hello, noramlly at least one person will reply. xx
Things are in montion to improve this but it has all been said before and as a site and a community we have tried many things to improve this. It's not nice i get that but chat is a strange place and everyone is friendly yes you may not get a hello which you should but do stay in there long enough to get involved with the converstations? the people in chat don't mind people getting involed in the converstation. You have to remember it's a way thing and just complaining they aren't welcoming won't get you anywhere if you haven't put the effort in to let people know who you are and give them a chance to get to know you.
Use the introduction forum use the other boards get to know people there aswell and you will find it a lot more welcoming if you put in the effort as well.
I'm sorry that you have felt very unwelcomed here, I think chat can be a bit like at times and it was brought up a while back although I wouldn't really know as I don't go on it anymore, but when i have people have said hi to me. All I can say is please keep posting and get to know people, it does take time for people to get to know you, post a thread in intros and say hi make your presence known. On the forums anyone will post a reply to anyone so you shouldn't have a problem there. I hope you give RYL a second chance, I'm sure you will find that it is worth it.
Take care.
Amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
tuesday: chat can be a helpful place, id recommend you give it a seccond chance. when its busy and theirs alot of conversations going on then it is possable to not notace someones said hi. everyone on theirs been friendly to me. you just have to try and join in their conversation
Chat is somewhat different to the forums, as chat is so fast, it is actually quite easy (although not pleasant) to miss people as they come in, or if they say hi.
The best thing to do on the forums, if you do feel left out, is to talk to people. It's to reply to threads, to contact people to say hi, it's to post in F&D, or to start a random thread in general chat.
It's a difficult one, because people can only work with what they're given. Yes, it's supposed to be an open, helpful, non-judgemental environment - but, if somebody comes across as cold (even if they don't intend to be, even if they are just shy), they are a lot less approachable than somebody who is chatty and outgoing. Even if it doesn't feel natural, even if you are too scared to post an intros thread - give it a go, give it a try.
yeah, i agree with Dreaming. i've met one person on here that i become very good friends with. everyone else = strangers. sometimes people aren't exactly that friendly to me either. but, mostly i just reply to posts and try to help people out.
I'm so sorry that you have not had a warm welcome in chat. Hospitality from chat users varies greatly. It depends on so many things, business of the room, how in depth members are in a conversation, if loads of people are coming and going at the same time etc. Chat can be a wonderful place... but unlike the forums chat becomes it's own sort of mini comunity. A lot of people in chat are people who use chat regularly and therefore know eachother fairly well. There are people who try to greet everyone who enters chat (me being one of them) but it is difficult to keep up. The best way to interact in chat is to get stuck into a conversation. Throw in an opinion or a joke to crack the ice and normally that means you will included in further conversation. Also making a regular appearance in chat will allow for people to recognise your screen name and before long you'll be well known and hopefully more included into chat.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
I totally agree with the OP, sorry if I offend anyone but even I, someone who uses chat daily, still don't get a welcome off anyone except two mods and possibly a member and that's only if they are actually in chat. I have gone in many times just to be ignored and it's not just the welcome, I have asked for support many times in chat and been totally ignored, people don't even usually say sorry I can't at the minute. But meh I suppose thats what comes of using something too much.
Chloe, please don't take this the wrong way, but it is really difficult to keep up with your name changes. Mods can see name changes but other members don't so when you change your name it's like having to get used to a new member as people forget. You used to get huge greetings, I'm sure you would again if you stuck to a name for longer.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
I find people on the RYl *most often* replying to people whom they know or see around much in the forums, so may be cuz u are posting in the R&V forum mainly, they don't reply to you as much?
I used to feel left out when i first joined here, i felt like a starnger but later on i made a lot of frind here and i love it more now,
It's my opnion, not sure if that applies to you...
Take care dear =] xx
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
Chloe, please don't take this the wrong way, but it is really difficult to keep up with your name changes. Mods can see name changes but other members don't so when you change your name it's like having to get used to a new member as people forget. You used to get huge greetings, I'm sure you would again if you stuck to a name for longer.
Sophie.x
I know but even the people who do actually know it's me don't greet me and that is kind of saying that new members can't get support because I have been called a drama queen for asking for support and I did mention this earlier that i ask for support and don't get it in chat. So it should be regular members get support and not new members... sorry not meant in a horrible way but yea...
once again Irene you have a good reply to threads. i agree with everyone chat moves fast sometimes. i say hi to everyone who enters the room. i am sorry you felt not included. but like everyone else said just join in on the conversation. as for the support thing and being ignored i am personally trying to find a solution to that problem.
Sherlock: Oh, please. Killing me. That's so two years ago.
