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Swimming and Nearly a month :D
Hey all,
I've always looked at this forum and thought "I wonder if I'll ever be able to post there?" but today I know that I can and I know that things really do get better.
The key to me feeling like this? Fear mostly. I was so scared Sunday evening because I knew that in less than 12 hours, I would be in a swimming pool with people who used to take the mick out of me for the first time in 2 years. I didn't think I could do it and was seriously considering every way of getting out of it. And yes, suicide breifly crossed my mind. But not for long, because I knew that part of me wanted to try it. To see if I really could get into a swimming costume and swim. Also, my P.E [Physical Education] tutor would have been so dissappointed in me had I not have tried it.
I amazed myself and my friends as well as my tutor by doing it. But more then that, I enjoyed myself and found that when the lesson ended, I didn't want to leave. It was exciting to be in a swimming pool, having not been in one for 2 years. Also, doing all the different strokes and lengths...It got me out of breathe and they say that excersize is one of the best cures for sadness. I love it and I'm even thinking about carrying it on as a hobby outside of school with my Dad.
This time a month ago, had someone of suggested going swimming to me, I would have sworn violently, threatened them and possibly hit them. I was at my lowest in a long time. But I made it through. I don't know how I managed it. As far as eevryone was concerned, I was a lost cause. [All except my drug counsellor and well, She's had moments of despair with me lately too]
Also, from November to January, I was free from self-harm but severe bullying at school made me start worse then ever before. It got so bad that I probably should have gone to the hospital several times. I'm now left with the scars scattered over my body to remind me of my lowest points in 2009.
So who'd think that on March 13th, I will be one whole month free of Self-Harm.
So, if you've made it this far down, I want to say well done to everybody. Wether your a year, a month, a week or just a few hours. Free is still free. Time is time is time. You as a person have the strength to beat anything. You can do anything if you set your mind to it.
Well done to everyone.
Chelsey <3
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Last edited by Lace-Me-Up-x : 09-03-2009 at 06:53 PM.
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