Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Was it the right thing telling her??

Lyssie · 02-02-2009, 07:23 PM

Basically I'd had enough and sort of burst... I saw my CPN, Rosie on Friday at 3:30 and had written her a letter... telling her about the SA and that I didn't like being touched in those places, I said I was sorry and she said I didn't need to be sorry for what happened. She asked me a couple of questions, they were hard but I got through them. She said we need to "delge" in and talk about it properly... so I'm meeting her at the hospital on the 20th (Feb) as if it was at home I'd feel too consious that someone would hear!! I am so scared... shitless tbh. I will talk about it with Rosie, she's amazing but I just... the memories coming back to me

I am fine with only her and my psych knowing because he's a cool dude too. I feel so dirty, minging, FAT, and just like I want to disappear!

I don't know why I'm posting... again... I guess I just need some support right now while Rosie is away due to the weather

Thank you
Lyssiexx

melda · 02-02-2009, 08:22 PM

You were so brave to tell your CPN about the SA, and its really good that you feel able to talk to her about it. When you have the next appointment with her, when you talk about it, keep telling her how you are feeling at that moment in time so that she can work with you through your feelings about talking about it. This is you taking control and beginning to move on, well done you.

*hugs*

troubleshooter · 02-02-2009, 10:32 PM

Sweetie you're none of the bad things you said and it's natural to feel scared ok? And when you first start telling about abuse and bad memories it will hurt a lot for the first week or so, and then you'll start the healing. *hugs* Don't worry, it'll be ok

Lyssie · 03-02-2009, 01:13 AM

Thank you guys, it means so much to be that you're backing me up and being there for me :) *hugs all round*

Wonderland. · 15-02-2009, 09:48 PM

Lyssie I think you are amazingly brave writing that letter and agreeing to open up about what happened to you. I know it will be very hard having to have all those memories come back to life but by reliving them then maybe you will be able to move on and put all those horrible things that happened to you in the past behind you. I think it is great that you get on so well with your psych and CPN so well that you trust them. I hope it all goes well on the 20th good luck with that.

Amy x