The voices are really bad at the moment, much worse than they have been in the last two months. They've been with me the whole time but I've been able to ignore what they say and get on with things.
But today they're so strong and hateful. They're really upsetting me and making me feel unsafe.
Plus I'm in a huge ammount of debt, am barely being paid any benefits at all and am very very stressed.
I don't think the stress has led to them. They were bad when I woke up and I didn't find out how **** money things were until this afternoon.
I just don't know what to do. I don't feel safe at all, and it's hard to tell my dad how I feel because a) he's gotten used to me being okay and when I said I felt 'unwell' he didn't realise I meant mentally and b) he might be disappointed that I'm having a 'blip'.
just wanted to say i hear you; i'm having the same sort of problem atm too. I know it may feel like your dad will be upset but i really dont think he will. If he is supportive i think He would rather be there and know what is going on. Do you see a doc or couns.? Are you on meds for it? When it gets bad for me i have to go back on anti-psychotics (just did yesterday).
Maybe that is an option?
I hope you have someone irl that you can talk to as well.
I'm sorry about the money troubles, that is the last thing you need on top of this. Maybe your dad could help you figure out what you can do about it, help you with a payment schedule. Also maybe you or he could call who you owe and work out payment arrangements; they are ususallu happy as long as you are making some effort and keeping in ctc with them.
Let us know how it goes ok?
And pls think of finding someone to talk to. You dont need to suffer this alone.
Pm if you like too ok?
Thanks Romp :)
I'm already on APs but on a lower dose than I used to be. I also see a psych very rarely, a social worker and a CPN. They're not much help though, I phoned my CPN earlier and she told me to have a bath.
I think you're right, my dad would want to be there for me but I just don't want him to feel let down or anything. Or scared. Sometimes he gets scared, and sometimes he gets angry at the situation.
Thank you again for replying xxx
Zowie, although I don;t know your dad I am positive he will not feel let down in any way, you are his daughter and he will only want to help you. He may be scared or indeed angry but none of this is at you, it is at what is happening to you, parents want to protect their children. He can only help if you tell him.
So sorry about your money troubles, I agree with romp, try to get patment plans sorted, often you can reduce the payments quite considerably with them. You may have already mentioned this in the psych ward but can you get any benefits or tax credits?
I don't mind, everyone calls me Zowie but I do like being called by my real name :)
The voices have calmed down a bit today. I slept in till midday because I didn't have the energy to get up. Feeling a bit better though, still stressed and stuff but not as overwhelmed as I was yesterday.
I called the JSA helpline to ask them to release my payment (have been getting different answers from each person I phone) and they said their system was down and they'd have to call me back in a few hours. Arrrghhh!
I had a relaxed day, but things are pretty bad at the moment. Voices are upsetting me, I've got headphones on really loud but it's not doing much work.
Plus I feel a bit sick coz I can't cook properly. Maybe an early night is a good idea.
I should get a Giro payment tomorrow from JSA so I can pay the rent finally which is a relief. Will have £18 to last me the week. Then when I get paid next week and the week after it'll go straight into my bank so I wont have any for myself because I have to pay off my overdraft.
I hate money problems. I'm most anxious that I wont be able to afford tobacco and alcohol. I don't think I could go without either for two weeks.
Got my Giro payment and they'd put the wrong bloody post office branch number on it. They put a village in Lancashire, not Worthing!! So now I have to wait till Monday to swap the Giro at the Jobcentre.
Feeling okay today though. Saw my care co ordinator and am going to a friend's tonight for beer and films. Not any of the 'friends' who are completely trying to avoid me, but some of my mum's old friends who I go to the pub with. Should be nice, I'm looking forward to it :)
