its not working

[xXMessedUpXx]

i don't know what to do



i've been on fluexotine for about 5 months. it was working but recently, and when i look it up over the last 3 months nearly, i've been feeling as down as i did without it. i've SI'd and been on the brink of suicide. i know i need go back to the doctors but i'm scared they'll just decide im beyond help. normally i can be really open with my bf but he has no idea that i've gonae back to SI'ing.

it creeps up on me.

i've found i cant't go out and drink cos it just turns me into a f'in pscyho. last time i ended up getting really paranoid, SI;ing badly and had a massive row with my bf.

it scares me.

when i SI its like it isn't me. i know that makes no sense but its as if im not aware of what im doing until after i've done it. i can't go a day without thinking of different ways to die.

its like im losing my mind. my bf keeps tellign me i'll get better but i feel liek this will always be a part of me. that it will never go away and that he (and everyone else) is better off without me.

i'm sorry for posting this but i dont know what to do or what to think

[Shenanigans]

I'm sorry you're feeling so low hun *big hugs* I really think going back to your doctors and explaining that your medication isn't working is the best thing to do. I highly doubt they'll decide you're beyound help hun, it might be that a different medication will work better.
Have you got any counceling at all? If so are you able to talk to them about how you're feeling? If not is it something you're willing to ask your doctor about?
I know things are hard hun, but that doesn't mean they'll be like this forever. The help is there for you hun, I know it's scary to reach out for it but you can and will get through this sweety.
Could you write a letter to your boyfriend explaining what's been going on and how you're feeling? I know talking to someone face to face about things like this is very scary but writting a letter means you can think about what to say and get everything you want said to him.
All my love sweety
xxxx

[xXMessedUpXx]

thank you for your reply.it means a lot. *hugs-where have the hug smileys gone??*in hindsight i think i posted that in the rwong forum but i was exactly clear headed last night.

i'm not having counselling, i was at one point (well actually at several points) but it just doesnt seem to work for me. i had written my bnf a letter telling him how ive been feeling so maybe now would be a good time to give him it.

think i will try to get an appointment with the docs asap.

i just want to get better

[sherlock holmes]

Trying medications is very hit and miss, quite often you will try a few different types before you find one that works. It may be that prozac wont do anything for you, and you need to try a different one.

It's worth seeing your doctor, they wont think you're beyond help. I tried about four different meds before I found one that worked, and recently it stopped working so I have to find another one.

An important note- it's strongly advised you don't drink alcohol when taking medication. I'm not surprised you had the reaction you did. It should say somewhere on the label on your medication, or on the leaflet inside the box, not to drink alcohol.

So yeah, go back to your doctor and tell him it's not working. For some people, SSRIs make them feel more depressed/self harm more.

Oh, and you didn't post in the wrong forum.

[xXMessedUpXx]

Thanks

I've been wondering about alcohol. It doesn't say not to drink alcohol on the instructions and i think i did ask if it'd be ok to drink and was told it would be ok?? So i've got mixed messages there, tho i guess common sense would tell me putting a depressent into my system might contradict the anti-depressents...

i'm wondering, if anyone else finds that despite meds, there moods still get worse when its that time of the month?

[sherlock holmes]

Ahh yes. The time of the month actually makes me feel more depressed and I get even more suicidal thoughts. I think for some women, it gets so bad they have what's called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. I think taking the pill as well as anti depressants can help with it.

Hm, I think when pressed some doctors will say one drink is fine with meds, and others will say none. I think some people can get away with it, but yeah alcohol is a depressant anyway and wont mix well with anti-d's. So it's best to avoid it really!

[xXMessedUpXx]

I think i'll try giving alchol a miss for a while, least till i've been to the docs and got myself sorted.

i've noticed my depression is a hell of a lot worse near my period, i do get the most suicidal then, ususally for the week before and the week during. would it be worth bringing this up with the doc? am already on the pill

[sherlock holmes]

Yeah I think mentioning anything you think is important to the doctor is good.