Posting replies in Forums where you dont share the original problem?Is this ok?

[Sleepless123]

Sorry for the title.i couldnt think of another one.Also sorry for posting again.

i just wanted to run a question past the staff and also any other members.

i often post replies to people in Forums where i dont share the original problem ie the Eating Disorder Forum or whatever.i dont share the problems many of the people there are experiencing.However often i feel i can still relate to them and/or some of their experiences through my own problems and/or just want to try and help and support them anyway.

Is this wrong?i kind of started replying to people in different Forums on RYL who had different problems to those that i have without really thinking about it.

But i just actually realised recently its perfectly possible i could be offending somebody or may do someday by doing this possibly??

If you see what i mean....

What do you think?

[Heidi Tiger]

I'd say it was to be encouraged. You don't have to have been in the same shoes as someone to offer support. In fact if everyone posted in forums they didnt' share the problem with it would be awesome. Forums such as abuse and bullying tend to get fewer replies which I'd hope was because the majority of members haven't been abused. However I still think any advice in an abuse thread from a member who hasn't experienced it is more than valid. In fact not having experienced the issue the thread is about may offer a new perspective.
xxx

[Caru y Nos]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heidi Tiger

I'd say it was to be encouraged. You don't have to have been in the same shoes as someone to offer support. In fact if everyone posted in forums they didnt' share the problem with it would be awesome. Forums such as abuse and bullying tend to get fewer replies which I'd hope was because the majority of members haven't been abused. However I still think any advice in an abuse thread from a member who hasn't experienced it is more than valid. In fact not having experienced the issue the thread is about may offer a new perspective.
xxx

I know I tend to do this alot, but I agree with Heidi. Just because you don't suffer from exactly the same thing that doesn't mean you can't support or be of help; if anything, some times you more than likely can be of more help due to the fact you can step back and look at things from a different angle. Personally, I believe that if people ended up only supporting because they related 100%, then no one would ever get support because every situation is different from another. What I suggest from personal experience is post where you feel you can help. (:

[griddlebone]

I think its good personally,it means you have a different perspective and just because you dont have experience doesnt mean your view isnt valid!xx

[Lou Lou]

I think it really shows how supportive you are by posting in forums where you don't necessarily 'share' the illness or whatever. And just because you don't have any personal experience in it, it doesn't make your support or opinion invalid. You posted on one of my threads in the ED board and it was so helpful and caring and really thought out and what not. Honestly, I appreciated it so much.

Support and advice is always appreciated, everywhere on this board. I think it's wonderful that you are so willing to support as many people as you can. xx

[Sleepless123]

Thanks for this everyone.i just wanted to check.It was only somewhat down the line that i stopped and thought hang on a sec oops i might actually be offending people here!So thanks for the replies.

i dont always manage to give support/replies but i try to when im around probably like most of us do when we are able.i hate to see people suffering, replying also can act as a distraction for me and also i believe i will die from what i have been through/am still going through.

i want to help people so that they dont become like me!So that it doesnt go that far...and so if i can help just one person it will be worth it.

But hey thats going off track a bit so thanks for the replies.i just hope anyone does say one day if i do offend them by replying where i dont have similar experiences...im sure i get it wrong sometimes.

But try and like to help support people however much as i can!

[Droplet]

I don't think you're offending anyone at all, my love. :) I think you do a fantastic job.

I hope maybe one day you will start caring for yourself though as well as other people

Love. xx

[~invisible~girl~]

I think it's a great thing to do. I've tried to do that sometimes too (not for a while though, as I haven't had much time recently).

I think it can sometimes be easier to support people with things that are somewhat different to what you're struggling with yourself, because for one thing there's less risk of it being triggering, so you can do it even if you're not up to supporting people on things that are more emotionally charged for you. And also, it's easier to be sort of more objective if you're giving advice and not have to potentially struggle with wanting to give pro-whatever advice. It might be harder to give the "I know how you feel" kind of support (although it may not be -- even if you're struggling with different issues than someone else, there can still be a lot of overlap in the distress you feel/have felt about your respective issues/struggles), but I think it can be really helpful to get advice from a different perspective, as long as it's still compassionate advice, which I'm assuming it would be cause it's a similar enough situation to needing support on something else even though the details are different.

[random.swirls]

I think its fantastic :)