Triggering (SI/ED) - lying

[paranoidandroid]

over the last few months i have been pretending to everyone that i am much much better than i am, because i don't know how to actually be better....going to see the psychiatrist and psychologist aren't helping but all my family and friends really want me to be better so i have been pretending i am because i hate seeing them upset by me. Every time i go see any doctor/psych i panic when they ask me questions....and just lie about all the answers...last time i was there i told them i felt great all the time, never make myself sick anymore....don't si....basically live a normal lifestyle have no thoughts of suicide. but none of this is true. i still spend entire weeks inside my flat too scared to go out, my bf/flatmates go pick up my meds for me even. i don't know what to do

[Sleepless123]

i can understand why you pretend to your family cos you dont want them to suffer etc but they only get upset cos they care for you and want to help and i think they would possibly perhaps actually be more upset i think if they found out you felt you had to deal with this alone for the sake of worrying about upsetting them.i know you dont want to see people upset cos your not well, ive always found that really difficult too and sometimes it has meant i pretend to them like you describe but im sure they just want to help you through.

i am wondering whether your family go with you when you see your doctors or psycharists etc?If not why do you feel you have to pretend or lie to the doctor too?Is it for the same reasons you feel you have to do this with your family or for different ones?

i have only really just started to do this more myself and i have been in and out of the system for years but to be honest if you want to stand any real chance of getting better you need to be able to be totally totally honest and open with your doctors at least and be able to talk to them about what really is going on for you or they cannot help.

i think that maybe i am beginning to learn that perhaps just perhaps this is an essential part to getting better.

You need to do this.

Its hard.i still battle with it a lot.Cant always be totally honest about how im feeling but it is something you need to try and do as best you can.

i hope that things improve for you and feel free to PM me anytime too.

And i think its great that your being so considerate of other people but i also think perhaps you have to think of your own health a bit more too - not a criticism, i know it can be really hard to do.

Please try and tell them the truth now or at least more of it so they can try and help you and then hopefully things wont run the risk of becoming worse still.

Good luck.

[Tig]

I agree with Sleepless. It is understandable why you have felt you had to hide the truth from people but in the long run it won't help you, or the people you care about. It's best to be open and honest and recover for good, rather than have to put up with this for a much longer period of time.

How would you feel about printing off your post about what is happening? Perhaps it would be a good way to open up to your Doctor so that they know you haven't been honest because I guess it's going to be very difficult for you to turn around and straight out tell them everything that's been going on. Or you could write a letter?

Thinking of you and if you need anything, feel free to PM me. xxx

[Steel Maiden]

Please tell those proffessionals who help you what is going on.

I have kept secrets like this for most of the last 7 years and now I have irreversible consequences.

Don't make the mistakes I made.

[tamobhuuta]

i agree with the other three. please don't pretend to be ok, your family and friends would much rather you were honest so you can get help and really feel better, and you deserve to feel better too.

[Steel Maiden]

How are you now?