Obsession with staff members

Tomorrowwillcome · 06-12-2008, 05:55 PM

I've become obsessed with a saff member and feel totaly rejected by her all the time, irrationally but try telling my head that.

What advice have you got to stop this, I have told another member of staff about it but It is tearing me apart and leading to self harm.

Lou Lou · 06-12-2008, 06:16 PM

obsessed in a romantic way? or in a kind of want-to-be-like-them and want to be liked by them sort of way?

i'm not really sure what to advise except to maybe tell the staff member how you feel? I dont know if thats a possibility at all but if it is it might be worth a go?

If it is making things hard for you could you maybe avoid her? or become engrossed in a book/work whenever she is about to distract yourself somewhat?

Sorry I'm really not geting my words out right *hugs* xx

Tomorrowwillcome · 06-12-2008, 07:26 PM

The obsession is a need to be with her, for her to come and spend time with me. I feel utterley rejected when she does not come and see me voluntraly. I'm don't think it is sexual yet but it has done so in the passed with another obsession I had. I cannot avoid her and don't want to, being in a small hospital does mean avoidence is hard

whirlpools · 06-12-2008, 07:36 PM

sounds like maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel. she must represent something or someone that you want in your life, or something you lacked at a young and vulnerable stage. i remember i went through something quite similar when i was in hospital, with a nurse-therapist. i used to think she hated me all the time, but i longed for her to want me. i worked out that she reminded me of the part of my mum who used to ignore me very intensely a lot sometimes when i was little and distressed. eventually i ended up talking to her about it, and i thought, crap, that'll ruin everything, she'll never talk to me again. but things totally changed for the better - she worked very hard to make me feel heard and supported and held. i don't know if it'd be the same for you, but "better out than in" as they say.

Lou Lou · 06-12-2008, 11:05 PM

^ that makes a lot of sense. its worth a try; better than continuing to ave it bottled up at least xx

dubagirl · 07-12-2008, 07:42 PM

Whirlpools' comment sounds like a good idea.
I have been in the same sort of situation myself, becoming too attached to one member of staff and wanting to be around her all the time, getting jealous whenever she spoke to another patient. I was constantly in fear of her rejecting me and when my mind was convinced that she hated me, it ended in a suicide attempt.
So i know how hard it is to be in a situation like this.
But I would definitely raise the issue with the staff member concerned. It would probably help you understand why you feel this way as well, and that would make it easier to overcome.
Best wishes
xxxx