go to the hospital?

Bethlehamstar · 02-12-2008, 02:19 AM

I am scared to talk to my therapist. I think it would be the best thing to cancel all the more appointments with him. He thinks I need to go to a hospital. I do not need to go. I am not crazy.

Sometimes I want to kill myself, but I am scared of missing. I heard you can live even if you are miss part of your brain with shooting. If I kill myself I want to die all the way. I do not want to live with a little.

My doctor he says I need to go to a hospital. I do not think I do. I am not crazy. He think I am in danger because sometimes I hurt myself deep. Mostly I do not hurt myself very deep. How do you do it without a lot of marks that you can hide? How do I tell my doctor that I do not need to go to a hospital?

I said things about a friend a last week or maybe the week before it. I think maybe she found out because she is not talking to me a lot anymore. I want to say sorry but I do not know if it is a good thing.

airwolf282 · 02-12-2008, 02:41 AM

Beth honey please don't shoot yourself, or do anything to harm yourself.

I don't think your crazy either. Sometimes we need a short stay in hospital just til we are safe again. If your therapist thinks you need to go then he/she is probably worried for your well being, not thinking you are crazy! If being in hospital for a while to stay safe means your crazy then call me a loon! I often need to go just to keep myself from harming myself.

I hope this helps you. Please PM or email me if you ever want to talk I'm here for you.

Nathan xx

Bethlehamstar · 05-12-2008, 07:16 PM

Thank you for trying to say helpful things.

I have been hurting my a lot lately and my mom is really angry. She said that maybe i should go to hospital before i kill mself by accidental. I am not sure if killing me would be a bad thing. I think it would be a good thing but I am so tired sometimes that I can not find energy to plan and do. Maybe it would be better to do small things at a time.

My friend is moving and I do not want her to move. I want her t o stay with me. I do not have other friends. I do not know how to make them. My mom does not like me going by myself. She is scared I will hurt myself too much or something. I wish I lived in a city. Things are so far now. And it is getting cold to ride a bike.

I am mad at my friend but she does not deserve it. She is eating and losing weight more faster than me. I eat less than she do. I am scared in a hospital if they will make me eat.

Horizon · 05-12-2008, 08:34 PM

It really sounds like you could benefit from a brief hospitalization. That does not make you crazy, sometimes it is necessary. If you are feeling suicidal, even "doing small things at home" you should really get help as soon as possible. I am concerned for your safety from what you've been saying in these posts.

I am sorry your friend is moving, but will you still be ablse to keep in touch with her?

Aidee · 05-12-2008, 08:58 PM

I know going to the hospital sounds scary, but it can really help get you stabilized and get your emotions under control in a safe environment.

Bethlehamstar · 09-12-2008, 01:19 AM

My father said he will not let me go. My parents are fighting over I go or not. I do not want to mess up my family. If I just died by accident no one would fight here again. It would be a good thing.

Sleepless123 · 09-12-2008, 02:45 AM

No it would hurt a lot of people.Please dont do that.im sorry your parents are arguing about whats best for you.i know that must be really hard.But keep in mind they are probably arguing cos they are worried and probably both care about you very very much.It would probably totally destroy them if you killed yourself be it accidental or not.

Also i understand about you being frightened about the hospital.But it could really help you especially if the doctors think it would be good for you and worth a try and if you are prepared to give it a chance.i know its a big leap but couldnt you like go in voluntarily for a bit and then see how it goes?Then you could always leave if it wasnt helping/you didnt like it providing you hadnt ended up being sectioned/detained.

Would you have anything to lose by trying this?

im sorry your parents are arguing and i also really hope that things improve for you soon but i really do also think it is crucial that you think/do what is best for you at this time.

Perhaps ponder it some more and good luck.im sorry things are so hard for you.Take care.

teenytineytori · 24-12-2008, 12:38 AM

the hospital sounds worse than it actually is. it is a safe place for you to experience your emotions. it allows you to move to a point where you can delve deeper into your issues and actually resolve them. i have been in the hospital 3 times and the first time was the scariest. i didn't know what to expect and was so scared. the next time was not as scary. i was so nervous about being in the hospital that i didn't really open up or talk about real things so i ended up back there. i believe that was why i ended up in the hospital the nest two times. the last time i actually was honest and not worried about exploding or being "crazy" i just let it all out and am much better for it. i am sorry your parents are at odds with eachother over this. it is not you they are fighting over it is their own feelings about hospitalization they are fighting about. (((hugs))) please take care