Please help, i need reassurance *may trig*

Starz* · 15-10-2008, 06:10 PM

AAARRRGGGHHH i cant handle this.

i had a appoinment with my therapist(shes for my ED) and basically admitted that when people annoy my i sometimes feel like i want to stab people. It made us giggle, but she said 'is that people you know, not random people?' and i said no, its random people. she asked if i thought i would do it, and if i carried anything with me. i dont. she said i should mention it to gp, i said id sound silly and that it made me laugh.

she phoned me an hour later to tell me that she had to tell my gp. i understand she has to and she was basically just letting me know before she did it.

im so scared.
im a freak
theyll hate me
i hate me, im such a bad person. i dont deserve to be here. i cant eat. i dont deserve it.

please tell me they wont hate me now.
am i really such a bad person?? they wont leave me coz i think such horrible things will they???

thanks

Queer Fringe · 15-10-2008, 07:58 PM

Aw hun, no one will hate you! It's a feeling, your therapist knows you will not act on it...unless the thoughts carry on without any help. You do deserve to eat! Everyone deserves food and water...

ThinkingofRecovery · 15-10-2008, 08:11 PM

I feel like that at times also and the feeling is really intense (and usually ends up making me cry or something instead to release it). Don't worry, if you aren't feeling as though you will actually act on it.

Queer Fringe · 15-10-2008, 08:35 PM

Yes, I didn't want to say this...but I've been very irritable lately and as someone was coughing I thought something very bad...I think you can guess...but I cant control these things...You are not alone.

Starz* · 15-10-2008, 10:41 PM

thanks soooo much xx

Sleepless123 · 15-10-2008, 11:12 PM

Hey i just wanted to say well done cos you were so brave to tell your therapist.Well done.i hope you can work through this.i dont think your bad at all.Just struggling.And they wont leave you over this.They will want to help and will be glad you said something.im sure you can work through this with support.It will be hard but you can get through.And safely.Keep being honest and keep talking.i hope posting here helped you too.