I just need reassurance or a hug, anything right now. Please bear with me on this one...
I've never come onto this board, I use the eating disorders board. I self-harmed for 2 years, then I developed anorexia and stopped self-harming for a year or so. I have been recovering from anorexia for a year, and in this time I have self-harmed a few times. Everyone thinks I'm over self-harm. Hell, I thought I was!
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Explains self-harming
Last night I had too much to drink, as I was getting ready for bed I went into the bathroom and cut with my razor. It bled a lot and scared the hell out of me.
I really don't know why I did it. What was I thinking? I wasn't upset or angry. I was happy and excited about my future plans. This morning I have woken up with horrible scars and a horrible feeling in my stomach.
I feel so guilty, ashamed, angry with myself etc... I keep telling myself that it's okay, everyone makes mistakes. But I guess I just need to hear it from someone else.
As I was walking up the stairs, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd go away.
slip ups are part of recovery hun, don't beat yourself over this. don't be angry with yourself. everyone makes mistakes, you are right.
sometimes there isn't a specific reason i SI too, i mean i may be happy but still SI, so you aren't alone in this.
i don't have anything else to say at the moment just please take care. remember, if you slip up it doesn't mean that you will get back to SIing.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I'm sorry that you slipped up but it is true that it happens to us all and we can learn from our mistakes. The fact that you have been without self harm for so long shows that you can do this and because you know it wasn't a good thing to do that will hopefully help you to get back on track. The fact that you had been drinking is likely to have something to do with why you self harmed. Please keep yourself safe and take care.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
*Hugs* Im sorry to hear you slipped up. But dont beat yourself up as that will only make matters worse. Slipping up is part of recovery but it does not mean that you have failed or that your back to square one. I do understand how upsetting and annoying it is to slip up but you will get there. We all make mistakes. You can do this, dont let this stop you from recovering. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
*hugs*
it must be really hard, but focus on how amazing you did without it
you dont need SI, as im sure you know, so dont start back into it
i guess i understand more than i thought about this situation, i stopped SHing.. and stopped eating.. like at the same time, i just dont like to think they're linked
PM anytime
Caz x
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
i understand about your situation too. when i don't eat, i don't need to SI. when i eat, i have to SI. i think it's probably that i feel like i need to do something destructive to myself. which isn't a good thing. and i should really work on that. but don't worry, if you really want to recover, it was just a slip up. everyone has them. you're pretty incredible to have gotten help for anorexia. it sucks, bt you really do have to keep fighting and i'll bet you can do it.
*big hugs*
I am sorry about how you are feeling right now... but like everyone has said... slip ups are part of recovery... and no one can recover with out the slip ups...
You are doing great... don't bog yourself down with anger cos of your slip up..
You can learn from your mistake and move on..
*squishes*
Claire...
Last edited by Porcelain Child : 11-08-2008 at 12:13 AM.
*hugs*
it's honestly okay to slip up
we're not magic! we cant always get things perfect! we make mistakes
its in our nature
but the best thing to do is to try and carry on as you were
recovering and bein strong and making future plans and being happy
thas the most important...if you get too tangled in your mistake you wont be able to move past it
its okay that you've made a mistake
*clings*
take care xx
The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]
Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!
