Triggering (SI) - I know im not welcome here but...
hi everyone i know im not welcome here but i really need help and i have nowhere else to go but if im really not wanted here if someone tells me i will leave.
the reason i am here is because i really want advice some of u may of read my other post im a self -harmer who is compleatly in a world of my own totally cut of from "real people" my harming is slowly getting worse and suicide is coming more appealing but i cant make myself open up and talk to someone so that they can help me i have no idea what to do help please
i know it's really hard to open up about certain things and it's never really the right time, but you obviously know it's the best thing to do and even just thinking about it at the moment means you're on the right track.
over time it does get easier, and although you say you're cut off from "real people" there are people on here you can talk to any time (including me, PM me any time you want) and that's at least a start.
you can also write things down if you need to speak to a doctor or someone, which makes it easier to get your feelings accross. if you feel you're getting worse, please try your hardest to talk to someone. as i said, you can PM me any time.
here for you :) stay safe
lora x
Every new beginning, comes from some beginnings end.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggers SI/ED/OD
Last Cut: 11.07.08 Last B&P: 15.07.08 Last OD: 07.06.08
to crazy rabbit lady - no im not banned or anything like that i just know im not welcome like i said befor i feel im not good enough to be taking up the time of people here i even feel bad for posting on this site.
i dont know what it is that stops me opening up i guess it could be that i feel if i talk to someone i will just let everything out and i feel that i cant let myself do that and i have to keep everything to myself.
to Lora - i dont just find it hard to open up about certain things i find it hard talking all together even about just everyday things
(i know im stupid) yes i do know it is the right thing to do and it is what i want to do but my only question is how?
i know there are people here i could talk to but i dont feel worthy of any of the people heres time.
i will try my hardest but i dont know if that is good enough.
Hun, your not stupid so dont say that. Lots of people struggle to talk about all sorts of things, it doesn't make you any less of a valuable person. I agree with Lora, writing it down might be much easier. I know that when you write your feelings down its personal and you cant easily let anyone see but i believe you can do it. I'm sorry your having such a hard time at the minute, if you ever need someone to talk to, even if its about nothing at all dont hesitate to PM me and take care of yourself
Ami xx
The shortness of life, I keep saying, makes everything seem pointless when I think about the longess of death.
When I look ahead, all I can see is my final demise. And they say not for seventy or eighty years.
And I say, Maybe you, but me,
I'm already gone.
PM me if you ever need to talk, im always here to listen/try and help
And your as entitled to post on here as anyone else is. Your having a hard time and you need help with it, no one can deny you that help. You deserve to post on here as much as any one else because you are good enough so dont let anyone tell you any different and dont tell it to your self. And i do know what you mean about not being able to talk because you think you'll let everything out. I feel like that sometimes. What i normally do is keep at least one thing to my self, that way i can get some of my problems out but still feel asif im not totaly exposed, theres still a little bit of me thats mine
xx
The shortness of life, I keep saying, makes everything seem pointless when I think about the longess of death.
When I look ahead, all I can see is my final demise. And they say not for seventy or eighty years.
And I say, Maybe you, but me,
I'm already gone.
PM me if you ever need to talk, im always here to listen/try and help
hun, you're not wasting anyone's time okay. please realise that. we're here to help each other and you're worthy of just as much times as everyone else.
perhaps, seeing as you find it hard to talk to people, writing it down would help then? have you got a therapist you can talk to? if not then you could see your doctor. i know it seems like a huge step but it's a step in the right direction and you know that. talking to anyone, whether it be via msn or RYL or email, or in letter form, seems it could be a good idea. what do you think?
and please don't feel like your hardest isn't good enough. believing in yourself is the most important thing.
lora x
Every new beginning, comes from some beginnings end.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggers SI/ED/OD
Last Cut: 11.07.08 Last B&P: 15.07.08 Last OD: 07.06.08
Hey
Why wouldnt you be welcome on here??? Like Crazy Rabbit Lady said, unless you're banned then you're always welcome!!
Well done for posting, the advice the others have given is good, listen to them!
Take care of yourself, feel free to PM me anytime! Thinking of you!!
xxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
to amixlovesxcheryl - im not sure there are many people who struggle to talk about anything and everything so i know i struggle because i m just stupid.
i do write alot of my thoughts and feelings down but it is so hard to let anyone read it.
i dont think i would be able to message you i just dont feel im worth your time or anyone elses for that matter
and i feel so bad for posting on this site
im sorry i cant stand this why are you all being nice to me i dont deserve it you should be telling me how stupid i am and how much of a time waster and a waste of life i am and things like that im not used to the kindness it feels wrong
Dont feel bad!! You are definatley worth my time, and I'm sure others on here feel the same!!
If you want to tak PM me!! Writing it down is good, if it helps!!
xxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
hun, you're not stupid! please keep talking. you're worth so much more than you believe! please, you can message me any time, i'd be happy to help you through this.
you're not stupid at all. it can be really hard getting help and talking to anyone and anything, i know. sometimes you just really need to dig deep for that courage and i know we're all here to help you to achieve that. please believe that we do care about you and you really are NOT wasting our time. we want to help hun, honestly.
please, whether it be now or next week, just please try and talk to someone.
facts:
you're NOT stupid. you ARE worth the time. you CAN get help.
please try and believe this.
lora x
Every new beginning, comes from some beginnings end.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggers SI/ED/OD
Last Cut: 11.07.08 Last B&P: 15.07.08 Last OD: 07.06.08
And why should we be telling you you're stupid?? Or anything else bad for that matter?!?! Why wouldnt we be nice to you, you havent done anything to make us think we shouldnt be nice to you!! xx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
No we shouldnt, your not stupid. Your definitly worth my time, you've posted here for help, and i'm going to try and help you so please dont say your not worth it because you really are. Dont feel bad for posting here. And i know its hard to let people see things youve written down because its how your feeling and your problems and at the minute your struggeling to let any one know them but if you pysically cant tell anyone maybe thats the only way. Are you seeing a CPN or psychiatrist or anyone?
Like i said if you want PM me but i can understand if you dont feel like you can, but all im saying is you are worth my time, and i will listen, i wont judge you, and i will try by best to help and support you
Ami xx
The shortness of life, I keep saying, makes everything seem pointless when I think about the longess of death.
When I look ahead, all I can see is my final demise. And they say not for seventy or eighty years.
And I say, Maybe you, but me,
I'm already gone.
PM me if you ever need to talk, im always here to listen/try and help
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
lora - i would be happy to recieve your help but right now i cant convince myself that i am worth it and that the people here really do want to help and that anyone actually cares.
*B-S-F* - you should all be telling me bad things about myself because i feel that all im here for for people to put down and bully i have never really experienced positive things.
Ami - no im not seeing anyone at all i saw a counseller a few times but didn't manage to tell her anything at all.
Crazy rabbit lady - nothing is wrong with letting everything out i think that is probably a good feeling but like i said i feel guilty and not worth the time and feel i dont deserve the help and feel i have to keep everything in i wish i could change and i hope i can
Like I keep saying, you are worth my time, and no-one here is going to bully you!! I dont know what else to say, but remember I'm here if you want to talk, just PM me, anytime!! I promise I will reply!!
*BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGS*
Take care of yourself!! Thinking of you!! xxxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Maybe you should go to your doctor, if you can manage to bring your self to do it take something you've written down to show them, if not just try and say that right now you pysically cant talk about your issues but you're having a really hard time and you dont feel safe. No one on here will say bad things to you, i know you may not believe it because we dont really know you but i care about you, i honestly do because i dont know what its like to be you, but i know what its like to feel similar, and i want you to get through this. Its quite clear that you have no self worth which is something you will need to work on, your not going to suddenly like your self as a person and think you deserve all the praise in the world, it will take sometime, but you honestly deserve to be here as much as anyone. As youve just said to CRL
'i feel guilty and not worth the time and feel i dont deserve the help and feel i have to keep everything in i wish i could change and i hope i can '
Let me tell you one thing even if you dont believe it, you ARE worth the time, you have NOTHING to feel guilty for and you CAN change, it wont happen suddenly but i believe that you can do it. Iv said before now if you ever want to talk about anything at all you can PM me because i think your worth it, wait, i KNOW your worth it and i genuinly do want to help you
Ami xx
The shortness of life, I keep saying, makes everything seem pointless when I think about the longess of death.
When I look ahead, all I can see is my final demise. And they say not for seventy or eighty years.
And I say, Maybe you, but me,
I'm already gone.
PM me if you ever need to talk, im always here to listen/try and help
Hey add me on msn its fallenphilosophy89@hotmail.co.uk
I used to have psychosis and I was in a world of my own and they put me in hospital for a year.
I think that you should really talk to a professional and say exactly how you feel.
I have been told loads of bad things about myself.
You sound like such a lovely girl natalie and there ARE DEFINITLEY many really good points about you but when you have self esteem that is as low as yours is its so hard to see them.
You can always talk to me.
I am sure that everything will come in time for you and you dont know what suprises are around the corner. But really I think you must try and communicate this to a teacher or family member.
I dont tend to come on here much but I will talk to you so PM me if you wanna.
xx
hey hun
dont be hard on yourself your precious you can do anything you want hun ,you can post here im listening and i am here for you .
free spirit
my ryl family
daughter starnight
angie my pal and farting partner
adopted daughter beautyispain18
adopted daughter noal.
daughter girl with a broken smile
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kezzy92
maz_lil
Wow you sound a lot like me when I first came here, not that long ago I always approach situations thinking everybody hates me, and that they will ridicule me, but most people here tend to like me and I'm sure if you give yourself a chance you will also be liked. I was like you as well people hate me almost everywhere else I go, but I think that being around people who are just as bad, if not worse off than myself has made me realise I'm not the only one suffering, so I believe that you shouldn't put yourself down, everybody has their reasons, and if you feel bad thats what the people on here do they talk to try to make you feel better.
~The exile~ JD
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
