feel like poop O_O *poss rant/trig for everything*

[l'il esky]

hey sorry to post but need support and cuddles

been off work for bout 2wks, mainly cos was SOOOOO sick from the 1st AD's i was put on, have lost bout 10pounds :( eating totally disrupted, havent eaten more than 600 calories max for the last wk and a half.

havent sh for 2 weeks on tue, again cos i feel so sh*te, but really worried and panicy, 1) i know iim now struggling to eat cos i dont wana put weight on too quickly and its another way i can hurt myself without cutting/burning 2) really wana cut 3) dont know how im gonna cope when go back to work on wed 4) the people that know ive been put on medication are gonna expect me to get better like in a flash, and it aint gonna happen

grrrrrrrr i just wana cry and hibernate AARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:cry ing:

[trina1723]

*hugs* sorry im not in the right frame of mind to give advise and stuff right now but i wanted you to know i read and i care!
xxx

[l'il esky]

thanks trina, i hope your ok too sweetie , sending love and cuddles down to bristol. me gonna go to bed now anyway nothing else really for to do.
speak to you soon hun xxx

[-Rainbow-]

*hugs you a lot*
dont cut.. you will regret it and tha wont be so much fun
the next day.
but if yu have.. its just slipping up.
you will get better.
these things tkae time.
and time is sh*t
coz its all waiting and that.
i don tknow what else to say but im here to support you if you need
x

[trina1723]

how you doing today m'dear?
xxx

[l'il esky]

yeh trina,

feel ok, been so queasy but spoke to my manager and feel a bit more settled that they dont "expect" me to come back until i'm ready. still gonna try and go back wed and see how i go from there.

just feel a bit panicky still that if i go out i will be ill and i work MILES away, its bad enough just walking up to the local shops at the mo. the panic sets in, then get awful hot flush from the medication. :( hopefully when i actually go in i would put all my fears behind me

xxx

[trina1723]

*hugs* im glad your work are being good about it =].

ahh my heads confused and i dunno what to say cuz i dont wanna say nothing but i dont wanna say something thats stupid and will make you worse so im shutting up.

have some *hugs*

[Bleeding Angel]

You should go back when you feel fully recoverd, that way you know you will be in the best possible health at that stage.

What makes you feel panicky? And what do you do when you do feel like that?

[l'il esky]

bleeding angel-i havent sh'd for a while. dunno feel panicky cos im worried if something happens to me, like i get ill or something and i'll be too far to get home quick. i get all hot and worried and feel sick and i dont like it.
i gotta try and go back to work otherwise i think the anxieties will just get worse. wed's are fairly easy as days go, so i did say to my managers that if i cant do wed then i'm not ready to come back and they were ok with this. so we'll c!
p.s i love all your hello kitty pics :D

trina-thanks for the hugs lovey, its good to know you care. PM me tho if you having a bad time at the mo *cuddles*

[Lost-Odd-Sock]

im sotty i sont kno how to help right now but if you needsa chat inv hete fore oy

[l'il esky]

thanks hun

not going into work tomorrow. sent a bit of a stupid soppy email to my managers. im such an idiot!! more daytime tv here i come!!