Triggering (SI) - so down at the moment

[silentgirl]

I am feeling so lost and confused at the moment.

Its been ages since i have cut myself but my urges just seem to grow stronger every day and because i have so much emotional stuff going through my head i just feel like exploding it is also very hard when i cannot always access ryl because of problems with ryl and my laptop, so i can only post when i am at my nans house.

I havent been on ryl and been able to be supportive to anyone else for months and for that i am deeply sorry.

Life is getting harder for me to handle.
As some of you are aware, i havent been to counselling for ages. I just dont know if i see the point of going anymore. or what the point of living is now and again when i get desperate stupid thoughts and emotions stuck in my head.

I feel isolated and alone and explaining why is just so much fucking harder than what anyone would understand.

I have tried for long enough to hide how i am feeling from everyone at home and in my life but once again it is getting so much harder for me to control when i am happy, when i can allow myself to cry etc etc.

I also apologise for only posting now and again because everything is such a mess and i can only post once every so often because of the internet problems that i am having.

I am so depressed and confused. All i can see is darkness going round and round me.

[BlindSpot.]

You don't have to apologise for how often you post. It's not your fault if you can't get here quite as often. And your also entitled to ask for help no matter how much you reply to others!
I'm not really aware of the counselling situation but i'd really advise you to keep going. I know it seems like it doesn't really do anything but it can take quite a while. I think i'd been for about 5months before anything really started to help! For some it's a long time but it's worth it.

Try not to hide your feelings from your family, they might help?
I'm always here if you want to chat or anything.
Ali xox

[trina1723]

i agree with blindspot (sorry i dont know your name lol) that the counselling might help so maybe you should carry on with it.
try to stay positive, i know its damn hard but things seem worse when you are thinking negatively, try not to tell yourself that your never going to be happy, instead say to yourself that it might be hard and take a while but you will get better and be happy again.
sorry i dont make much sense today
*hugs*
xxx

[Ingenue]

Don't ever apologize for posting.
We are here to help you whenever.
I agree with the two above posts that the counseling could help, if you really feel it isn't helping you, why not see if you can ask your doctor for a new councillor or if you could try a new technique/type of counseling?
Please try and fight this, you deserve to be free. I know the feelings of darkness can sometimes overwhelm us and we lose the will to fight.
But in those times you can lean on those around you. Including us. Then one day you will see the brightness and want to fight this for yourself.
The want to recover is always there, it's just hidden beneath the simple option.

Try and do this for yourself.
Give yourself the best chance possible.
I'm only ever a pm away if you need anyone to listen.

Sorry if the advice was a bit crap.

Take care of yourself
<3

[Paw Print]

I dont have any other advise than what others have suggested but wanted y9ou to know i am thinking of you. *HUGS* my pm box is always open if you want to talk.