The counseling center on campus opens for the summer tomorrow and I should really make an appointment... I ALMOST think it would be better if I could be forced into all this... I've been thinking about going to counseling for a few years now. The guy I say after I got that cut looked at was nice enough... I think maybe it would be a good idea if I went but I really don't want to, I'm not sure why... I feel pathetic and melodramatic. Same with meds. I've been thinking about that more seriously since that GP tried to push them on me (I'd been coasting along in a dysthymic haze for a while and that Dr.s appointment and the talk with the counselor after threw everything off kilter)... It might not be a bad thing... But something is holding me back and I don't know what it is. I think that maybe again it's just that I feel like I'm just being melodramatic or something, I don't know. I really didn't have a point with this post I just wanted to 'think out loud' and so far you all are about the only ones I can do that with. So thanks for 'listening'.
Alyssa
Last edited by ~*forever_broken*~ : 18-06-2007 at 05:57 AM.
Reason: (forgot to lable for trigger)
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
You aren't being melodramatic.... obviously something's hurting or you wouldn't SI. So an appointment is worth a shot, right? Keep us updated on what you decide... good luck....
I say give it a shot and see what hapens, but don't accept meds as the first and only option here, counselling first and then see where that takes you. If they tell you you need meds then give it a try, it's no biggie, if you find they don't help or make you worse or whatever you can keep changing that untill you're happy with the results. Give it a try.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
Give it a go, if its not for you, you dont have to go again...
I know that when i first started seeing a councillor, i was told that it is important that you feel comfortabke with the person, so the first few sessions where just about "getting to know" the other person, after that you could decide whether you continued or not...it somehow made it a bit less scary than thinking you had to walk in and reveal all... (sorry waffling)
You arent being melodramatic, there is obviously something that needs to be gotten out.
You have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain. It wont be as bad or scary as you think.
Good luck
Matthew x
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
Hey Alyssa,
I say go for it! Especially if you are thinking about considering meds, you should really talk to a counselor about that in addition to a doctor or psychiatrist who would do the prescribing.
But more importantly you deserve some help and counseling is always a good thing (or so I hear)
Mind you I have only been once so far..... but I think I felt about it the same way you do now and now that I have gone (one time) I do feel a tad more positive about it. It's hard to take your own advice sometimes, but remember that you were one of the people who suggested that I keep the appointment. So follow your own advice! And remember that if you go and you dont like it nobody is going to force you to keep going. You said that something is holding you back, and I feel that way too about it. I think for me it is the idea of talking about these things out loud. For me I think SI is a way of avoiding communication, and counseling forces you to communicate which is something that I realllllly like to not do. But I know that I have to try to work on that. If you are anything like me that may be why you are hesitating. Or it could be something completely different! Haha but anyway hun I hope you go. If you want to talk about it feel free to pm me. We could talk about skipping appointments and then talk eachother into actually going. Happy fun.
xxxooo
i spent a year at uni feeling like i was drowning... it wasnt until i wanted to drop out that my department forced me to go to see a counsellor. it was the best thing i did... they matched me up with the type of counsellor i wanted, and she helped me sort through a lot of things. she didnt solve all my problems, but she did help me sort them out and put me on the path to getting back in control.
Well I went...and it didn't kill me so that was a real plus. Actually I feel a lot better about it. I felt kind of stupid at times and it's really weird having someone disect what you've just told them, especially when you aren't entierly sure of what you just said. I think I'm probably going to have to give the guy a little break and talk a bit more next time because I wasn't very open today, a little guarded I guess. But it went well... I'm almost glad I went :)
Thanks all!
Hugs and take care.
Alyssa
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
see now I wonder if the person I saw was total crap because nobody disected anything I said and I feel like theraists are supposed to do that sort of thing.
But good for you!! I am sure that when you go back you will be more comfortable and relaxed since you have already been before and you will probably have a better dialogue.
