just curious if anyone else uses or has used sex as a form of SI. I dont just mean BDSM but also simluated rape etc in fact there are many ways... even just allowing yourself to be "used" could be considered a form of SH...
I have done and do from time to time...
just curious as to how common/unusual this is as its something that doesnt get talked about too often...
Yes used to when my man was in a "bad mood" and had a session... it hurt worse ...but would rather that to a punch from him in the face. I guess I have been a good wife because neither has happened for some time now.
Rain
Last edited by Rain Keeper : 12-05-2008 at 12:07 PM.
No its not a support topic. Its open debate and should stay here.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
i've moved this to support not because it needs support but because of the triggering content. vets general is more for topics that are fun and lighthearted and non triggering.
I am a little saddened that a subject like this cant be left on the general part of the site. The general section is for debate also and am i to assume that anythign Sh related or remotely triggery should not be debated unless it is in support where it is far far less likely to get replies?
We are, mostly responsible adults who can make choices as to what we do and dont read. Some get triggered by jokes on general and others by seemigly innocent topics. I know the description clearly states NON TRIGGERING, i helped to write it, but i think we need to discuss the guidelines as to what is classed as too triggery to be excluded from the general board.
Perhaps a new warnign is required. *Triggering poll* *Triggering Debate*?
Perhaps there should be a guideline as to what is acceptable for a response on such a subject? How to begin the topic and things to omit when asking for opinions?
I want to add that im not shooting you down Sam either. If i was id do it via PM. I just think that this has opened up an area that needs discussion and guidance.
Perhaps if triggering debate crops up the mods could post on it to remind people to keep replies as minimally triggering as possible?
Vets General has been missing debate for a very long time. Its full of silliness and a few questions but personally i was really pleased to see a post like this go up.
Matthew
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I said 'probably have sunconciously'... as i know now looking back that i have but in the moments i didnt realise my motives (an was in denial of alot of things)
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
I am a little saddened that a subject like this cant be left on the general part of the site. The general section is for debate also and am i to assume that anythign Sh related or remotely triggery should not be debated unless it is in support where it is far far less likely to get replies?
We are, mostly responsible adults who can make choices as to what we do and dont read. Some get triggered by jokes on general and others by seemigly innocent topics. I know the description clearly states NON TRIGGERING, i helped to write it, but i think we need to discuss the guidelines as to what is classed as too triggery to be excluded from the general board.
Perhaps a new warnign is required. *Triggering poll* *Triggering Debate*?
Perhaps there should be a guideline as to what is acceptable for a response on such a subject? How to begin the topic and things to omit when asking for opinions?
I want to add that im not shooting you down Sam either. If i was id do it via PM. I just think that this has opened up an area that needs discussion and guidance.
Perhaps if triggering debate crops up the mods could post on it to remind people to keep replies as minimally triggering as possible?
Vets General has been missing debate for a very long time. Its full of silliness and a few questions but personally i was really pleased to see a post like this go up.
Matthew
i do not disagree with almost all you said here. as the rules are currently this thread belongs here not in general but i do realise that maybe support is not the best place for it. but i dont want to hijack this thread so you fancy making a new one in vets general and we can discuss it more there?
I'll re-open the discussion, its something I am interested in, because I swear blind I was the only one...
What I wonder is, is it more likely that women would use sex as a form of SI, more than Men? (I know statisically(?) women are more likely to SH anyway) & is that purely because women can use sex easier than men (emotionally), in everyday normal life? or is it because men (generalising here, don't get the hump) are more willing to play out the role of an abuser, or more "able" to either see or to pyhiscally hurt their partner during sex?
I ask purely because I once tried to get my partner to punch me in the face, not because it was kinky, but because I NEEDED it. She couldn't do it though & I thought I'd open up the conversation again.
I have in the past allowed myself to be, and i cant say it any other way, to be ****ed by guys i have had no attraction to, to guys i know i have no future withh, who i know are going to **** me and make their excuses, because it hurts. it makes me feel more guilty then you could ever possibly imagine, it makes me hate myself so much more and it destroys a bit more faith in humanity. after i would do it, i was a mess. a real ****ing mess. and i couldnt hate myself more, which led to punishment.
i dont really like talking about it too much because i feel deeply ashamed of it. there are very few people that i have been with, and its been good. i think only two that i have been with, and every thing felt so right, that i didnt feel guilty or dirty or scared. very very special people indeed.
i am now um-ing and ah-ing whether or not i should post this reply, heh.
eh, its all past tense now. i dont do that to myself any more.
I guess in a way... it's a good thing I've not had a serious relationships because I don't want to lose my virginty in that kind of way... and I know that more than once, if I had indeed already lost it, I would have put myself in that kind of situations.
Maybe I will in the future. Meh, I hope not...
yes....i have.
i have purposely done it....knowing full well i was choosing to abuse myself.
i havent done it in years now.
but i think alot of the reason i punished myself sexually is because i thought that was what i was good for and nothing else.
since then i have learned differently.
xx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
no. never.
but then i thought of years past when i would have sex with a partner when i really diodnt want to , but anted ot make him happy. It wasnt painful, dangerous or such...so i dont think it really counts...so i voted "no"
.gif "rose")
