Triggering (SI) - I thought it was meant to help. *mentions suicide & OD*

[Wonderland.]

Ever since i had been going to CAMHS for my SI everything has just got worse and worse its so frustrating. Before going to see them my SI was not that bad and the only bad things i had done was runaway and come into school drunk oh and skive.
While i have been seeing them i have ODd twice ranaway again come in drunk again kept skiving, got seriously close to killing myself and my cutting is much much worse.
I thought talking about your problems was meant to help ok so i havent told her everything but thats cos we dont connect.
Its just a waste of time i get more help from school than i do with them.
ARRGGGHHHH.

[Stellata]

It sounds to me as if the root of the problem here is a lack of connection. It also means that you're keeping a lot buried inside still, and that's causing pressure and distress for you.

How do you feel you don't get on with your therapist? What have you been talking about/working on? What do you feel would most help you?

[Wonderland.]

I think its the fact that she reminds me of my mother to much. Shes so patronising and just assumes things and she acts worried sometimes so i dont want to worry her more by saying the scary things if you get what i mean.
We have talk about different things each time weve been through stuff like school, friends, the future, football, family life, my parents and cutting.
I dont know but i think i only have a few more sessions with her then shes discharging me but cos i ranaway my mum'll tell her she might add a few more on but i just dont see the point im actually dreading seeing her reaction on wednesday. But if she knew all the stuff in my head she wouldnt discharge me.

[Wonderland.]

It was actually here who triggered me to OD cos i felt really bad after going to see her once cos she talked about some stuff that really hurts me and i couldnt deal with it.
I feel worse after coming out sometimes.

[Stefanie]

If you find your counseller difficult to relate to you can ask to see someone else. This does happen now and then and professionals are used to it (I work in mental health). I had to do this last year with my therapist, it was so difficult to say that I had no rapport with her but I'm really glad I did. The woman I was referred onto is just wonderful, we have a very useful relationship and I'm having my last session with her next week. I can't imagine the mess I'd still be in if I'd never said how I felt.

Good luck. xx