Triggering (SI) - I'm back.....

fairyofdeath02 · 02-05-2008, 03:49 AM

I used to come here a lot 5 years ago.... when I used to cut... but I can't say "when I used to" anymore because here I am doing it again.

I thought I was so over it. but no.
I lost it today
Many emotions came flooding back and I lost control
emotions I can't help/handle

I'm going back to my old ways it seems.... I don't know why, but I woke up this morning with an intense dislike towards myself. I hate what I see. Such a pathetic girl. A freak. A weakling. An ugly one at that....

fairyofdeath02 · 02-05-2008, 04:05 AM

I don't know why I bother sometimes... I sent a message to my best friend asking for help, or just someone to talk to but she totally ignored it

crazykat · 02-05-2008, 04:17 AM

Its sounds like things are a little overwhelming for you at the moment which is why you have probaly resorted back to your old coping mechanisms. Do you have a counsellor or anyone that you can speak to so you can begin to work through this stuff so it doesn't affect you so much? Your not pathetic or weak either, your struggling thats all. That doesn't make you a failure it makes you human, we all strugle from time to time. I'm here if you need to talk more. Take care
Kat xxx

Cazki · 02-05-2008, 03:59 PM

Hey *Hugs you* It sounds like your having quite a difficult time right now. Slipping up is part of recovery this doesnt make you a failure and your certainly not back to square one. Im sorry things seem to have got worse for you, you really dont deserve this at all. Things wont be like this forever though. You can get through this, we are all here for you to, you wont have to go through this alone. You did this before and i believe that you can get through this this time.

Do you have any support at all? Like a counsellor? Have you tried distracting yourself at all? There are alot of distractions that you could try like going for a walk, listening to music, doing jobs to keep yourself busy, watching a movie, posting on the fun and distractions forum or writing down your thoughts and feelings. There is also the big distraction list that has other distractions you could try http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 i hope this is of some help to you. Please be gentle with yourself and try not to beat yourself up, i know its hard but remember we are all here for you. Please keep talking to us.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxx