Triggering (SI) - not sure if it is triggering but being careful

delilah1 · 29-04-2008, 04:04 PM

i posted in the wrong forum by accident so thought i'd copy and paste it here.

i used to be a member back in the day of ruinyourlife but i left because i stopped self harming, everything was really good and i had my life back on track, but recently my boyfriend of nearly 3 years broke up with me and it's seems i'm on a steady spiral back down. it's not just that tho, everything i do seems to have no point and i feel unhappy all the time. I'm fed up of pretending i'm ok all the time. I'm worse now than what i was before. Before i had friends who also self harmed and i felt that helped me to stop but now none of my friends do. I have told one person but everytime i say anything i get the whole 'i love you, you're better than this' speech which doesn't actually do anything. I just don't know what i'm doing anymore and can feel myself getting dangerously close to the edge and i'm cutting more and worse than i've ever done. I thought i'd see if i could get some feedbak from people who actually know what i'm going through and aren't afraid to be blunt or ask questions. But long i know but i haven't been able to talk to anyone in so long that i didn't know what else to do.
Delilah x

Animad · 29-04-2008, 06:59 PM

I don't know what to say really, sorry. Just want to say I've read it all and I've just fallen back into SH (admittedly only after a couple of months break) but I know it's not nice. Might it be worth getting a counsellor if you feel you can't talk to anyone about your problems. You can always talk to people on here too, they are always really supportive. Feel free to PM me aswell if you want to talk or whatever.

iriedanym · 29-04-2008, 09:26 PM

Have you tried to talk to a therapist? Are you currently taking any anti-depressants? What about writing out your feelings/thoughts in a journal so you can monitor your moods? It sounds like you hit a bump in the road, but you'll never fully go back to where you first started, before you started on the road to recovery (because you know more now than you did then for example).

big momma · 30-04-2008, 10:52 AM

hey. sorry iriedanym but i dont agree with the whole "but you'll never fully go back to where you first started, before you started on the road to recovery (because you know more now than you did then for example)." i think its the opposite effect really coz you know how far you've been before and that everything was ok so you kinda allow yourself to go further in a way! i fully get what you mean dililah1. i used to visit ruinyourlife then started to feel better and didnt cut for like 3 years but then after a series of stupid events fell back into it way worse then i used to be! so i totally know how you feel! i dont know what else to say maybe a counsellor is a good idea (i've never had one so i dont know) and maybe if you do feel like you are depressed going on to some medication might take the edge away. i guess it depends why you do it..im not depressed i cut when im stressed out and feel out of control so anti depressants wouldnt work for me but theres no harm in goin to see a counsellor or whatever and just seeing what they have to say and getting an outsiders point of view. im sorry i couldnt be more help darl but just wanted to let you know that there are others out there who have done the same thing and that you are not alone!

Love AJ (Big Momma)