I dont know what's wrong with me..

[Neida]

This is pretty much my first time posting.. I've been visiting this site for 2 years, and I just made an account a little while ago.

So, I'm not sure what is wrong with my brain. I overreact to small stuff that doesn't mean anything.

I'm Bi-sexual and my boy friend doesn't agree with people who like the same sex. Now, I know it's in his beliefs and that's how he grew up. I don't like it, but then again I don't agree with some of his traits, either. Well, it has never bothered me until now. All of a sudden, if there is one thing he doesn't like about me, I feel that it is wrong and that I need to change myself or we wont last. And it's weird, because I have never felt like that in my life.

My dad got a new girlfriend. I don't really care, it's his life. I don't like her that much, but I am not going to butt in to his life. Well, he puts me in front of her and her in front of me sometimes. But that's normal, everyone does that. Now i feels like he is putting her in front of me all the time, even though he is not. Like he will pick a movie to buy with her, and since he didn't call me to see if I liked it, then he hates me. And I shouldn't feel that way.

Whenever my boy friend says "I'm busy" or "I'll call you later" I feel like he is cheating on me. Now, he is the last person who would ever do that. I trust him completely. When he talks to another girl, I'm perfectly fine with it. When he talks to other guys, I feel like he is putting them in front of me.

I guess I just feel like no one likes me and everyone is out to get me. I have never had these feelings until about 5 or so months ago. Now I am never happy for a full day and I constantly feel alone and like I will never have a good relationship with my boyfriend, my family, or anyone in general.

I dont know what to do.. Sorry for posting. I just need advice so badly. I'm constantly trying to cut myself again because of all these feelings, but I quit 2 years ago and I really dont want to start again.

[xXMessedUpXx]

hey

i don't really know what to say *i'm kind of crap at giving advice* try not to give in to the urge to hurt yourself, 2 years is a long time and you should be proud if yourself for acheiving that!

I can relate tot what you say about your dad, mine was the same. I don't think he hates you, he's just probably in that first thing if a new realtionship where you tend to forget about everyone else! If it's really getting to you could you ask him to make some time for just the 2 of you to go do something?

It seems like you're worrying a lot of your bf, do you think that's what started you off feeling this way? I'm sorry things are hard for you right now, just want you to know that you're not alone, and you dont have to apologise for posting cos we're happy to help anyway we can.

hope you're ok hun *hugs*

[Neida]

Thanks, it's just that half the time I am fine with the world and the other half it feels like I have to burst out in tears because the world hates me. It feels like everyone around me laughs at me when they are joking arund with eachother, even though they dont know who I am. I know they are not laughing at me, but it makes me cry uncontrollabley because it feels like they are..

[The Midnight Crazies]

If someone can't accept you for who you are, they're not worth it...

Marte