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Old 29-02-2008, 12:53 AM   #1
music1388
 
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Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - I don't really know what to put here...

I don't really know what to put here, maybe just that I failed yet again. I was doing really well and I was on top of everything maybe even happy. Now it all just seems like such a waste of time.
I had a flashback of one night i was out with my friends, long story short I think I was raped. Now I don't know what to do. I haven't even admitted it out loud. I am scared people will think I am a liar or doing it for it attention or something. I don't even know who i would tell or how. I wanted to tell my friend tonight I want to tell someone out loud but i feel so stupid. Since I remembered I have been acting kinda weird I guess my friends back home would recognise it as old depressed me but my friends up here didn't know me like that and they don't understand. We are moving into a new flat next year and someone I thought was a really good friend said they couldnt live with me, which sparked everything. This isnt in any order or probably making sense.
It just feels like everything is falling apart I feel scared and lonely.



Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
and music is my aeroplane,
It's my aeroplane,



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Old 29-02-2008, 02:21 PM   #2
crazykat
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I am sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment. Having that flashback must have stirred up alot of emotions for you. Have you got someone close to you who you could trust or even a counsellor you trust? that perhaps you could share this flashback with. Holding it in is only gonna makes things harder for you. Sorry this probaly isn't all that helpful but please look after yourself and i am here if you need to talk. Take care
Kat xxx



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 29-02-2008, 03:27 PM   #3
Cazki
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Hiya there im very sorry that your having such a difficult time right now.*Gives you a big hug* Everything will be ok, i know that what your going through isnt easy but it doesnt mean that you cant get through this. Could you talk to us about what it is thats made you feel like this? Has something triggered you? Do you have any support at all? (If you have one) have you spoken to your counseller about how your feeling? If your extremly unsafe which it sounds like you are then i really think you should go to A&E. Im so sorry for the pain that your going through. How severe are your flashbacks? Does your counseller know about your flashbacks?

You can get through this please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Things wont be like this forever, things will get better. Be gentle with yourself try not to be too hard on yourself as that will only create problems. We are all here for you and we will support you for as long as you need it. We all care about you so much. No one wants to see you get hurt anymore than what you already are, that includes me other people here, and your friends and family.

Have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings? Its important that if you do decide to write down your thoughts and feelings that you combine both the positive things and the negative things together so that you dont end up writing down just the negative things on there own. Make sure that you keep safe, none of us want to see you get hurt any more than what you already are you dont deserve it.

Please keep distracting yourself as much as you possibly can, there are lots of things that you can try here are some of them, listening to music, doing jobs to keep you busy, watching a movie, going for a walk and posting on the fun and distractions forum. Please keep talking to us, you dont have to go through this all on your own, we are here for you. Please take care its important that you look after yourself.

Take care best wishes Ian



14/06/2007 -

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Old 06-03-2008, 11:32 PM   #4
music1388
 
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hey thank you so much reading that really helped :)
I think it shocked me so much because I have never had flashbacks before and I always thought I knew my past. Finding out that I may not made me really doubt stuff. I went back to my parents for the weekend it really helped to calm stuff down.
Thank you again!



Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
and music is my aeroplane,
It's my aeroplane,



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Old 06-03-2008, 11:36 PM   #5
music1388
 
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I think even admitting here really helped. I've been ignoring it for months and I think that was what was bringing me down more than the actual memory.
thanks xx



Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
and music is my aeroplane,
It's my aeroplane,



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